TorturedLady Globe

Stop Harming Children, just stop it

2009-04-12T08:45:00.004+04:00

Children are angels from heaven and all of them are equal in innocence and purity. Yet, they are different in circumstances and need. A child builds his/her character till the age of seven years which is so vivid in the way they interact with their surroundings. So to have a successful parenting, parents should focus on their children well being and advancement. Scientifically, the adult is the problem in child raising, not the child. In other words, parents should explore the best techniques to be followed with their children rather than blaming them or hurt them emotionally or physically.

Let’s go back to the main point I am trying to raise here which made me fused up and put all my annoyance into words. Some parents lack parental skills which lead children to go astray or end them in having psychological problems. Surprisingly, I was completely shocked and astonished with the brutal attack the kid Nouf has been exposed to from her heartless step mother. The woman excuse was that Nouf is so stubborn and she needed to be taught a lesson. What an excuse!

Nouf was subjected to severe physical torture with no mercy. She had her body burned with hot metal tool, ironed, beaten and shamefully with the knowledge of her father. This innocent kid who has been treated so badly is in the hospital getting a medical care. I just want to know where we are living. How people can neglect all the Islamic values and treat children with such aggression.

“The Prophet gave an example of someone who will be admitted to Paradise because he gave water to a thirsty dog, and another example of a woman who will be sent to Hell because she locked a cat in a cage, without feeding it or letting it go free”. If such punishment concerned a woman who had such an act with an animal, then the punishment is severe when the torture involves a human being.

Justice is needed and the tragic situation must be taken into consideration and fairness to help the abused child Nouf and provide her with the needed care. Also the court should give the custody of Nouf to her mother because of the father’s negligence.

From this horrific cruelness, I really see that we should put strict rules to prevent such child abuse and neglect. Besides, the awareness on how to raise healthy children and how to communicate with them in the country is very crucial. Since violence shouldn’t be used heartlessly with children, such awareness is extremely needed. There are always other ways to deal with children. Parents should be protecting kids not harming and overwhelm them with fear and harm. “Stop Harming Children, just stop it”.

My Abscense Lately !

2008-03-10T16:01:00.003+04:00

Lately I was kinda of chaos from the inside and I couldn’t write or access blog, facebook or any other socializing utility in the internet. It’s like some part of me needed so badly some privacy and so demanding to be isolated from the internet world, maybe even the outside-internet world as well. Thinking gives me headache but I started my thinking and filtering phase to know exactly what I am up to and who I want or I don’t want to be with the coming years. Thinking of the best way to recreate my goals and understand exactly what I want to make or accomplish for the sake of clarifying my vision in life and make the picture so vivid in my mind.

I started asking myself some constructive questions, where are you going with this? What works? What am I responsible for? What are the facts? What’s the big picture? What are my choices? What’s possible?

These questions made me able to stop and step backward a little to see why things went wrong and why some situations made my chest tightened up. I was telling my inside that I am not infallible and even the best ideal wise people can make mistakes which means I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I should really learn how to let it go. I learnt that if you really have the best relationship ever, you have to remember the bigger picture which means you shouldn’t always prove that you are right, your relationship is more important than that. It’s really not a competition. I learnt that there is always the more and the less important in life where prioritization comes. I learnt that people can go through different experiences than yours which make every person in life unique and different, so we shouldn’t start the comparison game.

I learnt that patience plays a great role when dealing with any person regardless who that person is and many people can make mistakes but again you should forgive them. It's right that some people you won’t be able to be with them like you used to be but you deserve to sense forgiveness for the sake of clearing your conscious. I learnt that some people who always try to make you down should be ignored and kept in the corner. People who constantly lower your self-esteem don’t deserve your attention. You cannot change people but you can change yourself as the saying goes “We cannot adjust the wind, but we can adjust the sails”. I learnt that sometimes changing your path in life can reach you to the happiness world. I learnt that when you are mad at someone, just say it to do not make it pile up and get so angry on the other person.

The lines might go on forever but I just wana end up with a conclusion. Don’t wait for tomorrow to change yourself, you might struggle to be that new open minded person but it’s worth trying. Roll up your sleeves and start rebuilding your new path that will subsequently direct you to happiness and put you on the feel-good frequency.

Special thanks for my soul mate and amazing best friend , her existence in my life and her support is so appreciated .. Luv ya

My Decision !

2008-01-14T15:30:00.000+04:00

well, i know most of you will say , oh "from where did the sun rise today" .. i know it has been a pretty long time from the last day i posted , but here i am back again ;)

lately i was very confused, depressed, annoyed, obssessed, in other words mixed up with emotions because i had some issues , besides trying to make the biggest decision ever , which is "finding a new job" .. i had to choose between "big salary, nice position" with no appreication and non proffessioanl environment .. or "fair enough salary, lower position" with appreciation and good environment .. in my case i chose the second one which made me resign .. i do believe that what goes right for you doesn't have to go right for others .. every person has different notion , behavior and goals .. and my vision was totally different than many which made me came up with such a decision .. we cannot judge others because we dont really know how they feel unless we are in their shoes ..

and my piece of advice is "never love the place and the people" , "love the work" because if you loved the place , you'll never make a step to move forward even if your skills in a place are deteriorating .. if that day comes where you dont find youself improving whatsoever in your job, here you can mke your move by finding another job ... and i do believe that no place is perfect but there is always bad and worse ..

i remember one of my colleagues once said, you know TL we shouldn't be so positive because the negative will happen .. but i just told her , you are totally wrong , you should always be positive no matter what, but you should not have a very very high expectation on anything because if something didnot meet your expectation you'll fall in a very big disappointment .. in my new job i am positive but i am not expecting a lot ..

Here a small poem i wrote and sent to all my colleagues on my last day

A fresh graduate I was in 2004
Many skills where there to explore
Some problems were there to handle
If they are solved we light a candle
Working on statistical reports was a start
Those made me feel somehow smart
Getting SQL stuck makes the server down
Running reports at 2:00 was just fine
A system analyst I was in 2005
It was like a new path for me to drive
Many colleagues where there to meet
Many colleagues where there to compete
New unforgettable comers where there to greet
Some problems and concerns we had to repeat
Bad memories we had to delete
Good memories we had to retrieve
A qualified employee I was in 2006
More problems where there to fix
And some useful situations where there to tick
Great people they had to leave
New reliable people came to achieve
“When the goings get tough, the tough gets going” we had to believe
A senior employee I was in 2007
My thoughts almost reached eleven
From the thoughts I made a decision
Moving to another job was my vision
Unforgettable managers and colleagues you are
Good listeners and helpful for sure you were
In my memory, most of you will be thinkable
So let me be thinkable
I am sure in my absence you’ll progress
Be active and forget the stress
Be active and think of the success
If you were upset, think of the bless
If you were mad, just express
And if you needed a help, you know my email address
Sorry, but last depressing words for you to say
A fact that I cannot deny anyway
IT section, it’s time to say goodbye
A resigned employee I am now in 2008

Best of Luck

I really would like to thank all the employees who shocked me with their surprise in my last day which made me so flattered .. some made me cry to see their tears , it's right that u never value a person until he is gone..

~ the cake

~ the gifts , "Thanks" ..

P.s: Thanks bestie for baring my mumbles over these years of not being happy in my previous job .. <3 .. you are a real BF

Gd Day !

Terrible Fall !

2007-11-27T21:46:00.000+04:00

Horrible scream, pain, dizziness, crowd and continued tears were all played after one fall. I had the worst fall ever yesterday night which made me unable to move and thankfully it wasn’t risky after I got checked up by x-ray. I did not imagine that I’d be released from the hospital. I slipped and fell so hard down 4 stairs on my back. I already fell one week back which made this fall more painful, since I was in the recovery phase. The pain was too bad to the extent that it made me shiver until I reached the hospital. Once I’ve been put on the wheelchair and entered into the hospital, millions of thoughts came in mind and I just wanted all my beloved to surround me, nothing more.

I started to repeat the prayers inside my heart, asked Allah to make this pain less severe and go away. I just remembered the accident my mom and I had in 2000 where my mom had some parts broken and it took her 3 years to recover, it was so tragedy. I know it’s irrelevant but I just thought of it. I started to say inside my heart “God, hopefully nothing is broken”.
The doctor diagnosed me and asked the nurses to get my back x-rayed. Holding my mom’s hand so hard, calling my beloved and pleading them to be so close with tears rolling on my cheeks. Waiting waiting waiting for the result, every minute was like a year.

Finally the doctor told me that the x-ray shows that nothing is serious and he told me that this is only a bruise on my tailbone and within one week, I’ll be fine. After getting the injection, I’ve been a bit able to take the pain and sleep. I reached home at almost 4:00 am which made me so demanding to go into a very deep slumber. I always minimize the number of tablets when I get them from the hospital but this time, I couldn’t use my bad habit with this pain. It’s like I am so punctual to get the painkiller on time.

P.S: sorry for making you so scared, I wouldn’t be able to feel good if u were not with me. Love u.

~ No Time

2007-11-20T00:31:00.000+04:00

We usually repeat the word ‘no time’ to people ears every now and then because of our ritual hectic routines and full long schedule as we always state. The word ‘no time’ became a label that we stick it on every single day. It became like saying ‘hi’ or ‘goodbye’. For Muslims, it’s like saying “salam 3laikum”. “How’s Mr. No time”. “Ya don’t worry he’s been added to my calendar.
Well for me, today was like running in a loop that has no end. Going out of work, then university, attending the class where the listening session starts. In this session you should just listen, listen, listen and you must be extremely focused not sending messages, talking or doing anything else. It’s crazy.

~ Driving to home ..

From the amount of gained knowledge, you feel that your brain is aching, and you don’t really feel like listening to a single word when you are back home, otherwise you’ll be turned to be monster. It makes you say god why am I so busy? What am I building with my current lifestyle? Is that future costing me my present? I cannot accept any request, invitation or any which makes me so angry on myself. But again I go back hold my horses and calm myself that TL you should bare with that, as the saying goes “after every hardship comes ease”.

When I was out of university, I wanted to fuel myself with a lovely conversation with my bestie which always makes me feel so good. Listening to my siblings requests which I hate :P and that until I reach home.

Every busy person who always has ‘no time’, should streamline his/her life because without finding a way, definitely reaching your goal would be difficult.
This means we should focus on the necessary things and overlook stuff that can consume our energy for nothing. “Pick carefully who and what you let into your life”. Try to reduce the time you spend online playing or surfing pages while you have deadlines or other important stuff to catch up with. Eliminating one of your unnecessary habits creates more energy for you to apply the needed changes.

Good night

speaking my mind

2007-11-08T23:50:00.000+04:00

Life is full of cruel, good and bad people and from the exposure you have with certain people in life, you become more aware of what quality they are. Definitely, you’ll realize in later stages what each person wanted or aimed at from their relationship with you. It aches you and it might make you feel chaos from the inside and sometimes it makes you shocked but you try to overlook that because anyways they are “People” in your life. People come, people go. For sure, I cannot judge a person in my life fairly unless I spent with him/her a very long duration. So here come the situations where you’ll understand if that person really deserves your attention even a quarter.

When you get a repetitive treatment from some of your friends, colleagues, family relatives, or family this makes you say definitely there is something wrong with me. I realized that we mostly blame ourselves for others obnoxious behavior. It’s their bad not ours.
Niceness what I thought is the best way of behaving and it makes others respect you fully. But unluckily niceness becomes a trigger of crudeness, lies, disrespect and many, you just name them. I won’t say we should be rude with others but I’ll say we should be nice and strict at the same time. Some people you can feel the tradition of respect in their blood and others you can feel the rudeness and the sophistication structured in their brain to the extent that you wonder how they reached that level of education or position. What a steel brain, a phrase that will ring in your ears whenever you deal with them.

Some of that kind of people love playing the wisdom or caring role where they start showing others how intellect or social being they are. But when you look at them in the eye, you can sense the amount of stupidity and lies because at the end they are acting to be the opposite. And if you face them, they try to make a fool of you. Surprisingly, they have a way that I can call a “disaster”, they keep convincing you of what they think and in their perspective you must be convinced. I call them “Mrs. Or Miss or Mr. has an opinion on everything thing”.

They begin to talk about people’s weaknesses, listing the minor ones and they never observe the major weaknesses they have. “We start to curse the life, and the curse is us”, a poem meaning that we start criticizing others and list their weaknesses, and we already have most of these weaknesses. “Give everything in your life the right amount”, and I have no disagreement on that. Give your surrounding only and only the amount they deserve. Nothing more and nothing less, and I can call that a golden rule that should be highlighted and followed in life.

some pics to share :)

baby Khalifa , cousin

Good Night :)

Misconception

2007-10-14T12:55:00.000+04:00

“A misconception happens when a person believes in a concept that is objectively false”. This is a problem that I can call it a psychological issue where some individuals may have. You can realize that we are dealing with different stereotypes with different traits and characters. And such a misunderstanding can often occur between people. Basically we are human of emotion and not logic and that what triggers our emotions and overwhelm us with such misunderstanding. Being positive can be a solution but again some people face a difficulty letting go of misconception and that because the false belief is ingrained in their brain. Attitude, behavior, tone of voice and body language can create a huge leak in anyone’s relationship and we cannot deny the fact that they don’t have a negative or maybe positive influence. These features are pretty enough to generate misconception at times thorough communication. Sometimes you’ll say we cannot believe in everything. And other’s might say we should trust others and believe in them. Each scenario can at least lead to unfavorable conclusion and a sense of misconception. Human being is a mysterious creature and you cannot understand them all the time because their brain functions and interpret differently, different than yours. One person can assume that he/she never had a bad mood in their whole life or they are so quite, nice or angry. All of us pass through these moods depending on the situation we pass through but that with different degree.

Justification in my perspective can resolve such a problem because it gives your partner enough facts to state wither your situation is excusable, understandable or not. We should put excuses for others and have positive beliefs but again this becomes a hectic task if we don’t find rational justifications for others act or behavior that can help us crossing out the misconception. An example can be cleared in a phone call. You call a friend of yours and she is so furious in an abnormal way and hung up. Here you’ll say she is busy, tired, had a fight, angry, pressured, or maybe sleepy. Then such a scenario is frequently repeated and you start putting your excuses. Finally you’ll end up drained and admitting that the problem might be simply you. But if the other person states clearly the reasons behind such a manner, you’ll be so relieved and able to excuse them. So here we should always provide logical reasons for any behavior to avoid falling in a misconception that can push your beloved or friends far away because if the excuses are finished, your relationship with them might be terminated.

Positive Attitude !

2007-09-04T21:03:00.000+04:00

While having a meeting today with a few staff, i started to think how many characters with different attitudes where combined in that room. Raising problems is what many people think about all the time and they seem so pessimistic that nothing will work out as usual. Today's meeting opened up my eyes on some behaviours that act like a poison in any place because it basically lowers your morale. I had that little voice inside me during that meeting saying "Loosen up", 'Pull yourself together". Frankly speaking, i dont see having a discussion listing all the problems can improve the current state. Without mentioning solutions to problems that obviously can act like a kiss of death to everyone's spirit because you don't seem motivating your team and lead them toward the best solution. It's like we are looking to one angle of that problem as if there is no bright side of the whole picture. You are simply giving them a headache because your introductory seemed like we have to get prepared for an earthquak or something. Good morning everyone, we are meeting today to talk about the problems. PERFECT. now what. The following day, listen guys we have a meeting today. no way, count me out. The other day, Good morning, you know what we have a problem. It's like you are working in the Problem Institue or something.

"A positive attitude brings strength, energy and initiative." and i can't agree more !

A Job !

2007-08-26T11:58:00.000+04:00

Gd morning,
It was a normal typical day, where I started my working hours energetic and thinking to be more positive to fuel my day with a lot of achievements. Questions streamed to my mind and made me wonder if I am able to be a successful person if I just moved to another job. Then I added some prefix with ifs, ands and buts about many possibilities that I might face. Mixture of feelings that I couldn’t understand and not having an answer for them made me kind of hesitant towards carrying on my specified milestones in life. I was able to crack a smile to everyone but deep down I did felt awkward and blind to see my goals, those goals that they used to be so vivid and obvious in my mind. I felt myself falling and did not want others to start mothering me or sort out my life because I am the one who should do that. “You should be patient and stay in your current job no matter what because you never know”. Well, I don’t need to hear this because I know what I should do. Life is running so fast and if we follow this, we’ll regret in the future when we found ourselves not achieving anything. It’s easy to know what you want, but again it’s difficult to achieve it without making a decision and start working on it to get the desired outcome. I just wonder how some people define a job. Many talented people just don’t use their brain and that what makes most of their goals unfulfilled. A successful person should start putting a plan where he/she can achieve their goals. Not completely but at least. But what makes you think, why I should work in a certain place where I find myself unable to use my skills or find a reason why I should invest my time or energy. Being optimistic and motivated can lead you to your goal. But if you find yourself being more and more deteriorated, you should always make the right decision that can give you a ticket to reach your destination. At the end, I just found a solution to my problems in understanding my feelings. That was writing. If I understood half of what I do or sense, I surely wouldn’t bother wasting my time writing.

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~H. Jackson Browne

Shattered !

2007-08-15T10:51:00.000+04:00

From few days i got that feeling of being so depressed and nothing seems to change it .. it's like i am holding the tears inside and if anyone talks i'll start sheding my tears .. so i prefer isolating myself a little to avoid that .. i dont have the self-satisfaction anymore and everything seems going the way i hated it to go .. it's painful when you dont get one thing that can make you feel satisfied or happy ...... some nice stuff in my life has been changed to the worst and i can't argue or say a word because i am sure that will turn to be a conflict at the end that i wana avoid .. so i ignore and ignore and ignore ...... no one really knows how sad i feel right now and no one knows how TL is feeling from inside , i feel myself choked to death ! i wont deny the fact that my work is a big disaster to me right now and it is doubling the amount of deprssion i have , i can't stand being here because they underestimated me so much after the new change they have done as they say .. I am tired from giving my sorrounding endlessly but not finding someone who can understand exactly the pain i am going through ... I miss being the outgoing person , the happy person .... this kind of depression i didnot receive for a long time and it's shattering my soul ..

It's freaking me :'(

Sorry for sounding so sad !

I was Thinking !

2007-08-14T09:23:00.000+04:00

Gd Morning,
Today i was thinking of how tired i am from some people who lie all the time and i should pretend that i dont know .. sometimes ppl think when i ignore that means i am a complete fool but they dont really understand how i know them perfectly but i am just ignoring ........ i do believe that what goes around comes around and i can interrepret this quote that no matter how small or big the heartache you cause, you'll be receving it one day .. i am not perfect and i dont really expect others to be so but i do respect and i love to get that in return because it's key in any relationship .. it's pitty how ppl change , hurt and offend , these behaviours i can't take because it does nothing but lowering your self-esteem .... i might ask myself, am i impatient or driving myself crazy ? i guess driving myself crazy .... playing the kind and forgiving person role all the time makes me angry sometimes on myself .... we give everyone in life their own value and based on that comes the behaviour , we dont compliment with exaggeration and try to get things that belong to others ..... i just dont know how ppl define life !

GoodBye !

2007-08-01T19:21:00.000+04:00

I am travelling today , so just i'll say take care and i'll be back soon enshalla ..

P.S: Take good care of urself ...... i'll be missing u so much ..

Neglecting myself ..

2007-07-27T23:28:00.000+04:00

I was wondering lately why my weight is in decrease , i lost my appetite, and why i am less focused and seemed tired most of the time .... then i realized that i was torturing myself, i was simply so hard on TL .. i might seem so adroit in handling people but not really good in handling and taking care of myself and that's what made me so sick of the agony of my mistake .. Others can be crude no matter how nice you are and having a long dialog with myself made me more and more weary .. i think of the other person needs and desires and pleasure more than thinking of myself and what really do i get at the end "NOTHING" .. and i really mean nothing .. i start putting a list of excuses to make me more able to forgive and forget and i start analysing and trying to figure out the reason of any treatment i get and then i start questioning myself if i do really deserve that , it's a lot for me to process...... it's really exhausting ..

Then i asked myself a question , do i really love myself and i answered surely yes , so why am i being so hard on me where life is so nice .... changes are possible but the problem occurs if we are not able to be adaptable to these changes that we might face ....... sometimes i do feel that i am about to go insance and nothing really worth it .. i did demoralize my self-esteem and found myself less confident at work , with friends with me .. no one made me taste the hell but me with my flesh and blood , it was my choice to go on with the suffering phase ... i do believe that we are creatures of emotion and not logic , so if we find love, sympathy and appreciation we feel extremely satisfied and if we find harsh treatment and incosideration we do feel depressed .. and me with no difference ....... so i guess i was searching for appreciation and some words that can nourish my self-esteem .. we should really think of ourselves health and pleasure like we do for others .. we can't be responsible of others action and way of thinking but we are responsible of taking good care of ourselves .. the point i wana make here is that like you overwhelm your children, friends , family with love , overwhelm youself with love and care so that you can enjoy life more than ever .....

Feeling Important

2007-07-22T18:35:00.000+04:00

Why most people go insane?

People may go insane in order to find, in the dreamland of insanity the feeling of importance that has been denied them in the harsh world of reality. There is nothing wrong with their brain cells, and you can never know why did they went insane because every person has been in many situations were they felt less important. so a case can differ from one to another.

Everyone of us needs to have a sense of importance. if you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, i can tell you what you are. It actually determines your character. Sometimes u'll see a person who tries his best to publish writings, well that's how he feels important and everyone of us has his/her own way of feeling important. You'll wonder at times when u see people cry or maybe lie and i am pretty sure that this is the way how they can get sympathy or attention to feel important. That's why we should always respect people's reaction or behaviour through any event or situation because every person has his/her own way. But that can really be a problem in their way of thinking that can make them do either good or bad things just to feel important. but in my point view, it's not really excuseable to lie for such a reason but those people keep using such a habit and they might say we can't stop. well, they should start making it not really important to them.

You can never get attention or loyality from people if you start criticizing them, however you should always appreciate and encourage them and that's what great managers do to increase the company's productivity. and that's what you can do to make others listen to you and value what you say. "There is nothing i need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem". This is what one of the actors of his time has said once. We always try to nourish our children and friends bodies with food but we seldom nourish their self-esteem. Shall we provide them with pitzza, no it's just a word of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years and you might be remembered during lifetime. So give honest and sincere appreciation and stop criticizing and condemn or complain.

Have a nice day =)

Rejection & Circumstances

2007-07-10T18:27:00.000+04:00

Today i wana talk about the words "Rejection and circumstances " .. The sense of rejection is what most people dont like and that a thought that i had today in mind that if i saw someone suffering from that , i'll really pitty them because it's not a good feeling to have ... Being rejected all the time or in a time where you feel in need for someone is what can cause you sometimes pain and i mean pain ,, i dont see that a person needs a lot of peolple to make him/her feel happy but you can have only one a trusted honest best one where you can have even the minor things shared with him/her and that really can make you feel complete and more valuable .. We should always be social being and know many people but without neglecting or forgetting where our loyalities lie ..

meaning, i dont treat people the way i treat my beloved ones and again i try to meet their needs and consider their feelings like we do for people who mean nothing to us or maybe they mean little ... i never reject my beloved no matter how strange or annoying they become because deep down i know how much they love me , so i should bare with them without threatining without making them feel less valuable because they wont do that without a reason, i should investigate why instead of setting up a plan of how to teach them a lesson... we sometimes say many things when we feel angry or upset but you'll never know how much bad impact that can be on people who mean the world to you, they have a brain to think and a heart that can feel , they'll be ignroing but sometimes things remain unforgettable no matter how much they ignore ....

sometimes you'll say my circumstances changed me a lot and i've been through a hard time , god knows .. but that is completely not true .. If we think about choosing destiny of a human , is it the human himself or the cirumstances , you'll realize that the human is the one who determines his destiny and creating these circumstances ..... Impossible is nothing , if you want somthing you'll do it no matter what , so stop the old tape that says , what shall i do my circumstances have changed me , just to fake things ....... All of us should put on the wise glasses that can make us see and realize things more clearly ......... so try to change the bad habits you have and replace them with good ones .. If you have a person who means a lot to you, here you should sacrifice because he/she deserves it if you think so without humilating and remembering them of that in each time because that will really not be sacrificing by humiliating ........ life is nice and sweet , so just enjoy it with a fresh new person that is good to remember ...

have a nice day and good night in advance ;)

Insensetive People

2007-07-03T08:30:00.000+04:00

Gd morning,

It's very miserable to have some insensetive people now which make you wonder of the kind of heart they have .. when you hear some bad news you'll show sympathy in a way that can make the other person feel good but showing that my bad news has nothing to worry about adds more pain on my pain .. Sometimes we dont care about what we hear , but we show good manners and respect for others feelings .. having the news of being my unckle on hospital because of heart problems made me so depressed .. it was like a shock to me and that made me unable to tear and express how i feel i was simply reticent ..... i just rush to the hospital with my parents and i was happy to know that he was okay but he has to stay for five days to make sure that his condition is stable ..... i started remembering how much he cares about me and how much he loves me .. and how i am always his favourite niece since i was a little kid, he always treats me as a kid as if i am not grown up now ..

When i saw him laid on that hospital bed i felt overwhelmed with sadness but i was smiling and telling him that he freaked me out and thankfully he is okay ....... i was thinking of him all night and i couldn't have proper sleep , i was kinda of late to work , so one of the work mates asked me why am i late today , i just told her that my unckle is in hospital and i couldn't sleep properly because of that , she was like oh that's bad ha with unbelievable facial expressions ....... o.Oi was like WHAT .. but anyways every person has her own value and this creature has 0 value ..... I do miss my best friend so much and i know i would feel better if she was here ......... Hope that my unckle is gona get over this and he'll be out of hospital very soon ........

Have a nice day ...

Still can't believe !

2007-06-18T23:11:00.000+04:00

Dear Diary,
I just want to get things off my chest ....

I am still not believing the fact that you are leaving and it shreds my heart , it's like i know but i am not yet believing .... it's very hard to have you away with that long distance because i am gona miss you so much so much , getting up in the morning knowing that you are not there , coming back home and i know i can't chat or tell you my little stories , and not fighting with you like we always do and then we dont talk for a while , and i start calling and you shout , or yell and then we are back perfect and laugh at the silly things we do , i am gona miss that ........ nagging like old people when u make me angry or when u shush me , then we hang out together , i get jealous and you tell me to stop acting like kids as if you dont ...... weekends wont have any flavour .... i'll feel kinda of lonely because u do occupy a big part of my life and having u away wont be easy on me and i do feel this travel is different than any other one .. dont know why ....... it just hurts me :'( i am gona miss you my dearest ...... my beloved friend, sister and everything .......... i love you so much .. I really wish you a great travel , just keep in mind that i am gona miss u like no one .....

Urs TL

Fear that we hate

2007-06-13T22:04:00.000+04:00

Hi all,

Having like many awful situations lately made me feel feared of what can happen next , it's like you have an inner voice that tells you , oh ya , what's next ... i know i shouldn't have such thoughts because God knows what can happen in the future but again i can't stop ignoring the fact that some intruders are starting to mak nice things in my life seem unacceptable ... it's like they come , take things that belong to you and go , what kind of people those are ..

i can't argue in this because others should distinguish good from bad people but it does hurt me so much and make me unable to focus as if i need now more things to worry about u know ..... i should really stop being obssessed with my thoughts that usually others tell me not to .. but i do believe in my observation , it's like feelings that i have or u can say the nack to figure out that ... i can't say a person is bad because that will make me look like a bad person who just try to destroy others image , so i keep that observation for myself sometimes and let others realize and get how those people can destroy their relations , but the problem is that, the realization of that kind of situations or experience will come after you feel so bad ..... We sometimes should give every person in our life a limit and try not to allowing them to exceed it because that will make our beloved getting hurt or annoyed ......

I hope intruders are so away and i hope tomorrow is better than today =)

Gd Night , sleep tight , nice dreams ......

Realization !

2007-06-07T22:02:00.001+04:00

I was thinking today how much you get used to express your thoughts and feelings to a person because you are not that kind of person who have personal life to be in newspapers for everyone to know ..... then life gets busier than ever and people dont seem having time for anything and u end up finding yourself not being able to express, share or get ideas or opinions in return etc ... you think how could you get all the issues that act like a tornado out of your brain but you dont find someone who can help you and you discover that the best way to do that is to write and write and write .....

people change and i have no doubt but we should really bear in mind that no matter how much we change the time where we regret will come and you'll realize how much you made others suffer and they never complain or say a word but they were just patient .... Never set changeable things as facts like i can't be patient or i can't handle presure because you were not born to be that way so you can change it .... i myself was not adaptable to changes and i do suffer when things change but i tried my best to make that at least acceptable because if i dont , i am the looser ...... so start realizing things in your life that you destroyed and try to value your beloved who never left you when you were harsh, unbearable or in need ....... put on your intellectual glasses to have better observation on important things in your life ......

Good night =)

My depression

2007-05-30T19:52:00.000+04:00

lately i dont seem talking much i am kinda of recitent, and this what makes me feel so tired and what hurts me more is that i set to be a good model for many , so if i just showed a little of my misery , everyone will start saying oh no this is not u , so i'll start hiding and it's painful ...

sometimes i wana scream , cry and say how miserable i am and how things in my life i dont like and i wish if i could change or improve .. today i was really not able to talk at all , i reached home after the hectic work , had my lunch and it was so little *my mom was like, is that all, is it enough* , i said yes and went to sleep for hours just to forget what i am going through , woke up and felt more miserable and i wished that i didnot sleep ......

“For me being depressed means you can spend all day in bed, and still not get a good night’s rest.”

i wish i know what's wrong with me and i wish i can get over this but i dona know .. the most touching thing today was that all my family members didnot notice that i was depressed but my little 10 years sis saw me and she couldn't finish her lunch , she was like TL sis what's wrong with u , i dont feel u normal today ...... deep down i was telling myself , oh god how children are innocent, transparent and more able to realize things maybe more than adults who should have a better observation, i really love children they are so sweet, adorable and they never say something to hurt you but coz they dont know a better way to express or behave ...... i wish adults were the same and i wish my heart was tougher than it is ..

Sorry for sounding so miserable but i am really passing through an awfual depression for 3 days , trying to ignore and smile but i dont feel happy from inside and i really can't take it .......

Have a nice day

Change !

2007-05-28T22:00:00.000+04:00

Life is all about changes but not every change can be bad and not every bad experience can be repeated again .. sometimes change lead to stronger bonds and happier life ... When i was a teen , change always means to me a nightmare that i always freak out from and i always think of it as a path that ends up in depression and heartache maybe coz my bad experience with some but when now i see myself a grownup , i really dont think of it that way anymore because if the love is there and the strong bond is there nothing can change ..... maybe things will change to the best but not to the worse ..... and we should always have faith in that , a strong faith ..... have a positive belief and believe it truly and that can reflect positively on your behavior and manners .... you are the person who interpret the change you face ... you have a positive interpretation where you'll feel happy and able to move on and experience the new change and improve it as well .. and the other way around , where you feel freaked out and depressed ....... so enjoy life and keep all the doubts behind , face life with a big smile and positive belief so that you feel that the change made ur life happier and bonds are stronger =)

Gossip is mean !

2007-05-17T10:22:00.000+04:00

Hi folks,
I know i didnot blog for a very long time .. i really have one exam left and a project ... but the exam is the only thing that i see it freaky in the mean time .. :P anyways .. i just wanted to discuss a topic with you ...
What's the point of starting to gossip or tease a person while he/she is seated almost in front of you .. do you think that person is stupid or they dont have a brain to realize that what you say is a sarcasm .. i hate it when i see people gossiping about a person , especially when they dont know the used language, arabic for instance .. it's very mean .. and if they dont know most of the time but sometimes with ur facial expression it can be clear .. like yesterday couple of girls where teasing an iranian girl who were seated innocently waiting to get the exam paper, and those girls started to tease and gossip ,, you guys should really start praying that u'll do okay in the exam .... huh .. rather than gossiping ..... i do believe that what goes around comes around , and when you start treating people in such a manner , sooner or later you'll receive the same treatment and that might cause you so much annoyance .. so treat people nicely to avoid being trapped in such situations ....

P.S: Always respect people to be respected ...
ذكر عن عطاء احد العلماء أنه قال:" إن الشاب ليحدثني حديثا فاستمع له كأني لم أسمعه وقد سمعته قبل ان يولد
now if you sometimes say something and others heard it or read it in newspaper, they'll interrupt you and tell
you that's old news or we know it ... :P

have a nice day =)

Dedication and Friendship post ;)

2007-05-04T18:03:00.000+04:00

Hi all,
Before starting this post , i would like to dedicate this flower to my bestie on her birthday and i really want to dedicate to her a poem as well .. (love ya so much)

at 11:57 pm of yesterday
red roses started to display
my call i couldn't delay
calling like nonstop that was me
my bestie ya that's you
the most special person i knew
it's already 12:00 oclock of this day
two words for you i should say
Happy birthday sweetie (hugs)

---------- the post of the day --

Today i would like to talk about the word friendship , and for sure friendship has levels .. and the highest level is what we call it in arabic (rfea8 aldarb) ...

This word is such an amazing word but unluckily many of us dont really know how valuable this word is and many of us cannot distinguish who really deserves it and who's not ...i'll give u an example, if one of ur friends , told you why not going to the bar , what u r gona answer him or her , based on my principles and islamic values , i cannot accept your invetation , right .. okay , and if that person keeps insisting on u to go all day and night .. will u call this person a friend ,, never .. a friend who asks you to do something that will end up you regreting is not really a friend .. or i wont say you might only regret but it can lead you to the wrong path .. however, a friend who will tell u dont , loves you and they want the best for you ..... if you make it once , u'll make it all the time because "shy6an" will make it so nice in ur eyes and u'll like it ......... never get angry on people who advise you because we really reached a level in life that we rarely find people who will lead you to the right path .. you probably will find friends who will pretend leading you to the right path just to make you close from them and so they can easily take you for granted .... so if you find a person who's always patient with you, who loves you , keep her and dont ever lose her bond .. .. we never measure friends with quantity but with quality .. =)

My advice for you today:

- Be optimistic , eventhough there is evilness, there is goodness
- Be optimistic, eventhough there are troubles , there are solutions
- Be optimistic, eventhough there are failures , there is successfulness
- Be optimistic, eventhough the reality is cruel, you'll find a hope

Gd Night =)

Optimisim =)

2007-05-03T13:21:00.000+04:00

Gd Afternoon =)

Life is just a job. Do it perfectly, u’ll get a bonus, do it badly u’ll get fired ..basically i used to tell me bestie , life is like an onioun , the more you peel the more you cry .. :P anyways ...

Okay you might wonder why am i saying that .. all of us face obstacles in life, whether it's work, study, family, etc .. and we might sometimes get upset , depressed and not satisfied , most of us might feel that they have been taken for granted , it might be true and it may not (only in ur brain) .. for instance, you might be asked to do something and then it turns out to be not successful , you'll start saying i am always like that, i always work my hardest but things dont work out the way i want , i am jinxed , goofy , ediot and and ... all the negatives go on ..

You really should keep in mind that what you say really get stored in your brain and definitely it will just be reflected on your behaviour that will make others dont feel like being with you and you might feel not willing to be with urself as well .. it will make you say things unbelievable that will show you or other that you are becoming a bit exaggerated ,, maybe like I love dinosaurs so much that i have always thought i'd like to have one for a pet .. (Joking) .. but it could be :P .. Emotions are the most thing that can lead you to a disaster because if you get an offence or bad treatment from someone and then you just think of it the negative way , god i got offended , why and how and when and god .. it's just like u r killing yourself .. you really should take charge of your emotions .. put excuses for others , they might be mistaken sometimes but you should be the person who you can say forgiving , take off the self pride because you'll mean a lot to God .. and always take it that way , "What goes around comes around" .. so if your manager for instance treated you unfairly , you'll hear in a day that he is back to be a normal staff and you might be the CEO .. ya i am just telling u , u never know .. :P Try not to be angry the whole time because it makes you drained and unable to focus , so if u have someone who made u feel furious, dont say i wish i can slap them and so they forget their forename , no say maybe they have something that made them be annoyed or if they are not important , give them 1% of ur caring ..

This life is really like a railway station and surely you'll pass through many places where you can learn more how to deal with others and yourself, you'll get upset , happy , optimistic or any .. that will really add things on ur life experience and make u more able to value things in ur life and give it the right value ..

Always keep your smile and thank god for what you have in hand and many wish to have =)

Face the mirror and ask !

2007-05-01T22:20:00.000+04:00

Gd evening folks,

i was sitting on my bed and wanted to start studying but i just have some thoughts wana express before that ..

do you feel satisfied about yourself , some might say yes and others may say no , and others probably will say kinda of ..

Face the mirror and start asking yourself ? am i really satisfied about myself .. am i listening to music excessively , am i praying , have i hurt someone or am i abusing someone , or humilating my beloved , am i ? am i exaggerating sometimes , did i misunderstood someone and that was so hurtfull .. did i heard a gossip about someone special and believed it .. am i an unbearable friend, aunt or sister ,,, .. have u replaced precious people who gave you all the love and care with people will never last for you .. sometimes you might really throw a word which can destroy your beloved emotionally ,, are you really able to put your head on the pillow and sleep afterwards ..... i cannot believe how people became so insensetive where they just hurt and treat people who means nothing to them nicely and people who means a lot nothing .. what kind of measurement do you have , how do you value , what your priority looks like .... you really should shape your thinking again and set your priority .. dont act wisely and have that sense of arrogance that many loves you because you never know what news you'll get tomorrow ...

Never believe in lies about your beloved no matter what ..

Never hurt a person who gave you all the tender loving care they have

Never ignore a person who considered you like a sister or an aunt or whatever because of people who poisoned your brain to treat them badly ...

Never throw a word without thinking because you can lose a great friendship by that ..

Be wise and kind

Be caring and merciful

Be polite and able to notice who's important and who's not ..

Dont treat all people the same coz every person has his/her own place

Dont believe all people because they might take you for granted

Good Night

Thinking is just killing !

2007-04-30T11:04:00.000+04:00

From few days up to now i have so many things to think about and decide and plan and i am just stuck in the thinking process and i dont really seem putting an end to anything .. it's like i start studying and i am just distracted with so many things , think about this and that and then try to get myself focused , then i get distracted again .... god it's just unbelievable ! and i have no idea what to do ... i hate it when someone tells me that on that particular day u'll have a cermoney or sth and you just can't decide because at that duation you have exams coming up .. well, this is one of the things annoying me right now .. you know how it feels , when you have to decide and then you just feel like not going but then you are afraid of regreting because you might not be able to go to the 2nd ceremoney ...... and i really know that i made you guys confused and you really have no idea what i am talking about .....
i am utterly confused .. i hate that .. and it seems that everyone is busy as well , so i cannot take a consultation from anyone .. i just get an answer like "if u wana go , just go" wow . thank you.. that really helps :P .. i really hope to be able to get out of the thinking zone of mine which i can either kill it or it's just gona kill me ,, I JUST NEED TO FOCUS ... just from the crazy thinking i guess i found a white hair .. god i spent a big time thinking ha :P

Have a nice day without exhausting your poor brain ...

A comment caught my attention !

2007-04-25T08:11:00.000+04:00

Good morning,

Hope u all are doing fine .. i just woke up so early today and so i had some time to read the newspaper ..

a comment in emirates today really caught my attention , so i felt like sharing my point of view with u guys ..

Guns not a good Solution

I do agree with the lady that we should not start distributing guns among all police officers .. sending armed undercover police into the malls can be kinda of risky , and i do believe that we are an angry nation and just pulling that trigger can kill many .. cause if we had that bad history again of the recent robbery in Wafi Mall , as the lady said we cannot garanatee that only criminals will be shot , but innocents can receive one of the bullets , and that might end up many being killed .. i guess improving the security we have in malls will help avoiding such gangs , so putting strict rules is better than using violence ... well, this is what i think ..

back to work , have a nice day =)

Falling on my knee

2007-04-22T22:46:00.000+04:00

Have u ever experienced an embarrassing situation, well all of us did .. but mine was awfual .. i just remembered on my way home that i am running out of credit , so i thought of passing by the petrol station retailer , and since i am too tired and beat , i could barely walk and felt like i am having double vision , and some stars are moving into circle above my head (cartoon ;p), i was heading to the store entrance and i was wondering why i cannot find the door , and i just realized that the door was just right beside me ,, so i noticed that i stood in front of the non-door entrance touching the screen as if i am a detector or sth .. okay the first mission is accomplished which is buying like 4 prepaid cards without me noticing how i made that decision to buy that number of cards .......

when i just went out the store , i had the biggest scandle ever, which is falling on my poor knee (ouch, so ouch) .. i was looking around if there are people there , ya right , there are million of people , I tried to hide , get into the car so quickly and went out the petrol staiton ...... felt like shivering and didnot know why is that , is it from the lovely situation (sure not) or from the pain ........ i guess both .... at this moment, felt like talking to anyone to feel good ,, i dona know but i had my mood changed and uncontrollable .......i know i seemed rather aloof when in fact i was just pained .... and i do feel sorry for my sudden changing mood ..

The best part and i can call it the brightest part of the day is that i got (mashalla) two amazing marks which made me so thankful , and that really made me notice how the ease comes after each hardship .. so we always can get happiness out of the countable or uncountable nasty situations , which is good .. ..

Good Night folks =)

Happy Birthday to Me =)

2007-04-19T23:56:00.000+04:00

guess what was 19.04.07....... 'MY BIRTHDAY' ......
A week of being so confused and in wonder , a week of being unable to focus , a week of being not sure of what you were doing or what was taking you so much away from me , a week that makes me feel angry and depressed because i knew you were hiding sth . a week a week.........
Then on my birthday i got your effort to make that day more than amazing .... you drew a smile on my face and you fill my heart with happinesss ......... eventhough, i was shocked for like 10 minutes , refrained from saying anything because i realized that all what you were saying was just to make this day a special day and that without me knowing, that was so astonishing and touching at the same time ,, didnot know if i should smile or cry ....... so i did both ;p
I really would thank you my bestie for making me so happy on that day , it means a lot to me ....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

and thankx for my lovely sisters , all of them including Mrs. Nataly :P
thankx for all my friends who phoned , send gifts or sms me or surprised me :P , that means a lot to me ....

You made me really speechless ....

Here are some picx of my birthday:

Good night =)

My Morning Thoughts ..

2007-04-16T08:45:00.000+04:00

Gd Morning,

I woke up today feeling so tired and sleepy and the same routine goes on ,, then i remembered before when i was undergraduate how life was amazing , didnt imagine that the work will take all of my time in a day and it never did,, sometimes i ask myself why others can't set their priorities, why work became the most important thing in life while it's gona end sooner or later .. beloved will wait and wait and wait but sooner or later their love and care will decrease , why we focus on something that wont last ..... we should love our work but not make it on the top of the priority list , it's not everything .. if u felt in a day depressed or need to have a heart talk , the work wont listen to you , it will just be more hectic ..

Sending a lovely message or calling your beloved wont take a lot of your time , these really make your beloved know that you still love them and care ..... how would they know if you dont show it ....... we are a "talking a lot , doing nothing " nation .. you should prove that what you say all the time is true ,, flowers die if you dont water them and so do the feelings , if you dont water them with love and care , they simply die and all emotions become dry .. dont miss the chance of keeping your beloved forever next to you and make them love you and make their love last ....... now, you rarely find someone who really loves you so deep , so it's either you keep that love and give it a priority or you lose it and regret .......

Have a nice lovely day =)

I miss you friend

2007-04-14T20:42:00.000+04:00

Plain and simple "I miss you" ...
Days and Days pass and i wait for the moment or the second to see you , my day without you friend is dull ..
it's not easy to stay away from you , believe me it's not easy ,, i can lie and say i am doing fine but it's not easy, if you look in my eyes, you can tell exactly how i feel ....... you are my sunshine , you are my other half ..... you are the most person i can share all my pleasure with and i dont feel such joy with anyone other than you ...... i just wanted to say those few words ...... can't say more i am just speechless ! it's hard and i do miss you ... luv ya

I see your handstamp everywhere but i dont see you .....

Stop the Overthinking habit !

2007-04-12T23:51:00.000+04:00

I just wanted to talk about sth before going to bed ..... i had a topic in mind which is the "Over thinking habit" .......
but before that i just wanted to express how much i do miss someone so badly and i wish they know how much i miss them .......

Dedicated to the sweetest person ...

"You" whom i call you my heart
From you i cannot be apart
Or from your love i depart
Our souls became one
and with you i can have fun
When my tears i started to shed
Other than you i dont want, i said
In my heart you are a queen
and all others for you lean
You whom i call you my heart
I chose you from the rest
In my heart you are the best
You came into my life
and made me feel complete
.... i miss you so much !

Okay back, to the topic i wana discuss ........
Are you a person who spends a big time overthinking until you feel your body is so weak ... you should really learn how to switch off your thoughts for the sake of your health and happiness ......
Sometimes, you'll hear a situation , and you might keep it in mind and when u encounter a similar situation, you'll start predicting or overanalyzing it in ur brain to find the best solution , then you'll notice yourself or others might notice that you became so reticent .. you barely talk or express and if you talk , you say the most redicilous things that can make you feel unable to cope with everyday concerns .........
Worries circle round your head , attacking your thoughts and killing your focus that can make you feel annoyed or depressed ..... even if you relax, your brain starts addressing every single issue and that keeps your brain functioning like nonstop which can affect your health .... you'll start saying i relaxed but i still feel tired .. WHY IS THAT ???? Because your brain is tired, you just not giving it a break !
Okay if you moved to a new job, what you are gona do , for sure you'll start thinking to make the right decision ... So you'll start weighing up the pros and cons of the new job ....and you might then make the 'for' and 'against' factors hoping that you'll end up having the best decision .....
JUST A MINUTE .......
But based on the research, it has been noticed that the less time we spend thinking about a decision, the more likely we are to choose well.. our minds can process limited amount of information at any one time , so overloading your brain with so many factors or issues wont help because you'll lose concentration that will unable you to make the right decision ... WOMEN THINK TOO MUCH >> this is a fact , coz they are emotinal ...
for example, if men receives a feedback at work, they'll take the positive and ignore the negative, wherease women take them personally ... so here what we should look at, "The Snowball Phenomenon" , one reason overthinkers spiral into negativity is the "snowball phenomenon". They start with one negative but it really snowballs and then they start feeling completely depressed .....

What to do to stop it:

- Internally say "STOP" or no .. this will help your thoughts to be out of control
- Distract yourself with anything when you start your thinking phase .. distraction break the connections between the nodes of negativity in the brain ..
- Take some physical excercise
- Write your thoughts down but read them later ..
- Get things out of your chest, but pour out your feelings to positive people
- Challenge your thinking
- Give yourself a time where you are gona think about ur issue
- Keep in mind that overthinking is not your friend when you have any issue, so break this habit ..

Gd night all =)
bbye

So Exhausted !

2007-04-09T12:19:00.000+04:00

Exhausted is all what i can say ..
i am feeling too stressed and tired and i can't seem relaxing , i am working working working , work , university , it's all taking a lot of my energy , i do feel dizzy all the time , yawning like million of times .. i miss the old TL , who laughs and smile , who can handle pressure without anyone kowing that she is pressured ... i miss being strong and active , i really miss that .... i felt myself today dragging myself to work which is making me available at work but feel myself like the laptop or the tissue box on the desk .. my body is aching me so much and i cannot realize at this time who is lying or straight , who loves me or not, who cares and who not .... it's like i lost all my feelings .... GOD I NEED A BREAK .. i really do ....... i need to recharge my batteries again .......

Pride is Important !

2007-04-06T22:07:00.001+04:00

I’ve been always telling myself that we should care and care and care to the extent that people feel how much we do care but that’s a wrong concept that you should not really follow ,, but you’ll say how would they get it that we really love them ,, again that’s not an excuse.. they really have brains to distinguish being loved or not , and they do know that .. so you really should not bother yourself telling them that all the time …

Do what you can do and don’t kill urself to please others because you are a human being at the end .. you feel , you have a heart that beats within your body .. what happens when you give all the energy you get for the sake of people knowing and blab bla bla .. the biggest mistake you can ever do is humiliating yourself to please others . here you made the biggest mistake because you’ll be really small in your partner’s eye , a person without pride is really like an empty bottle …… I know that pride is not included mostly in the friendship vocabulary list but c’mon how would a person look like without pride ……it’s better you dunk your head in slime every now and then .. don’t say being so poor will make me loveable and get all the attention ,, for sure not .. it will make you very small and you might get offended because respect will be kept in the store because it’s not necessarily needed to be used with ya ..

keep pride as a motto in any relationship and that will really keep you adorned in people’s eye …… use pride with balance and that will make people add respect , politeness and consideration with ya because they know that you are not a ball that should be kicked ..

Good night =)

I dont want pain anymore

2007-03-30T22:43:00.000+04:00

Pain, my heart from others can't take
Being nice with many was a mistake
Sticks & stones for my bones can break
But how i manage words that shatter my soul
How can i feel again whole,
I need someone for me to console
Let me feel back again whole,,
put all the broken pieces up again
For my heart and love maintain
From the pain i wish i can complain
From my brain i need an explain
why my smile can't remain
why their love in my heart doesn't retain
why on my thinking i dont have control
why strong i cannot be like before
why the smallest things i can't ignore
I am tired , i dont want it pain anymore

Anger !

2007-03-23T10:20:00.000+04:00

Gd' Morning ,
'We're an angrier nation nowadays', we cannot stand any situation no matter how big or small it is and we just find ourselves fuming at anything. Even if we encountered a little annoyance, we'll start screaming and swearing face-to-face or over the phone and the moment we put the phone down or just leave that person, we start feeling guilty AND WHY IS THAT? because we are short tempered and we cannot control it.

Never write a message while you are angry, because your angry mood is what telling you what to write, it's not you. This can really create a huge fight rather than calming it down.

'An angry person believes they must always have their way. When they don't get it, this leads to frustration' and from this comes the irrational notion because they feel that the other person is to blame for not letting them getting their way.
Some people think of it as an invasion of a space, like if you are seated alone and someone comes or phoned, your temper started to flare because you have the idea that they are pushing you, but they certainly didnot. This is because you think that the world is all about you and so if anyone interruputs that means they are pushing you. It's obvious that your belief system makes you interpret it that way. We really should not use anger as the best way for defence and try not to attach the pride in anger. like " i am not the kind of person who you shout talk to that way, you'll never get away with it" ... try just to use anger approriately and life is going to run smoothly.

Here are some tips that can help:

1) Try to change the way you think when you are angry, no one is responsible for your anger but you. We always link losing control with anger but it dosesn't have to be that way, you can get control of it by having rational thoughts.
2) Everyone has their own ideas and feelings , so it shouldn't be always your way. instead of you reacting on every word they say, try to listen carefully and respond nicely. have some tolerance that can make you more able to think why your partner is saying that and basically what the underlying cause of making him/her saying that.
3) If you have lost your temper, apologize in a sincere way and try to ask your partner of their point of view and so you can solve the problem rahter than creating a huge fight that might never end.

Have a nice lovely day full of calmness =)

No Love to offer .. :'(

2007-03-16T13:04:00.000+04:00

Gum3a ambarka ..
sorry but i am gona sound a little bit miserable .....
Dear Diary,
I am feeling so depressed to the extent that i do feel unable to give , i am tired from giving and getting offence and disrespect in return , i am tired from people telling me how great and amazing they are and how little i am, i know not all people are the same , but i am just tired ! i never felt the way i feel in my whole life , i do feel broken from inside , all people see me smiling and social being but i am not feeling happy , i am just tired from having some putting me down and discouraging me and it's just too hard ,, i am tired from being nice and i am tired from others telling me how being nice is awfual and i should change that , where i just wana be myself .. I dont force anyone to love or even call , and i cannot love and care about anyone if they just keep hurting me .. and the problem is that i do have a big patience but i end up then finding myself not loving .... and if i reach that level i can never love or forgive .. i dont wana hear nice words and when it comes to actions, there is no move , i want them to say things they mean it not because they can .. I dont want to love or care, life is getting so hard and i know i should be always thankful because after each hardship comes ease .. :'( i wish i can hold someone so hard and sob .......

With Regards,
Broken TL

Shall i call them losers !

2007-03-15T08:53:00.000+04:00

Gd Morning,

I just had a very exhausting week that i feel thursday is the happiest day for me .. i was just telling my sis before coming to work, u know what i do feel like crying from happiness that finally it's weekend .. ;p

Okay, let's speak my mind a little ... What do you think about people who give up easily , well i call them losers because they dont spend the right amount of effort to succeed and they do work so hard in poisoining others' brain to drag them to the nothing they wana be .. but just a minute, why do we seek excellence and higher degrees if we keep nagging and nagging like old people , why do we choose that path if we dont feel able to carry on .. why do we say god this place is a rack and they dont treat their people fairly and and and and all the negatives combined ... surely there are rules and regulations in each place and we should stick to these kind of rules .. before getting there , we do know that every place works on the principle that all members should follow a certain criteria ..

I wont say that misconception and unfair treatment wont be there sometiems but there is always a chance that you can justify and explain your cirumustances and if again it didinot work , you can say god knows why am i passing through that , surely it's gona turn to be a blessing maybe not now but later .. but the problem in some people is that if they felt such a failure , they want everyone to have that kind of failure to feel more satisfied about themselves ,, but why dont you lead them and try telling them your failures and so they dont do them and move on ... believe me more successful people in life are the ones who failed once and twice because they are more aware of their weaknesses and that makes them able to move on .. they do try to get all the keyes that make them successfull and that based on life experience .. Try many times, fail once and twice , then you'll reach your goal ..

P.S: Never Discourage people to make a progress, because you'll face an obstacle that makes you never pregress ..

Gettings things off my chest !

2007-03-12T11:29:00.000+04:00

Gd morning,

I really need to get things off my chest and mind ...

I've been thinking a lot lately of so many things that just damaged me mentally and physically and made me reach a point that i dont need anything but relaxing , sleeping not thinking ... When i was little, i was always thinking that if you treat people nicely, you'll get the same treatment in return and i've been raised having that thought never changed .. when i got older i realized how people return your niceness with nastiness, how they talk about your troubles with winks and smiles while you are so pained, how they take your trust for granted .. Then, when a situation happen and you arrest them gossiping and you show them how hypocrites they are, they feel guilty and sorry .. huh "after what" .. after they broke your heart and wiped all the feelings you have for them .. Those people,you call them people, they never deserve to reach the level of being friends .. when jealously and dishonesty get into any relationship whether it's work, college, school or any it just ruin it because who took you for granted once, can make it several times ..

sometimes i feel like tired form writing techniques and how , how how you should be and how distrust is awfual and and .. but few who follow , few who take these issues seriously .... Does that make me sound pessimistic :P

At the end, we should really cross out every situation we go through, label it with "History" and list all the lessons we learnt, it's not wrong to be put in a hardship but it's wrong when we dont learn any lessons from it ...

Hav a nice Day = )

A harsh Unexpected accident !

2007-03-07T14:05:00.000+04:00

Hi all,
I know i haven't blog for a while but i did miss all of ya "big time" ...
The past week was somehow painful to me because i just knew that i have to redo one of my modules at the university, ya right that we should always be thankful but i cannot deny the fact that i spent days and days and a big time studying and finishing all the projects of that module , i do have the right to tear or just say i am upset , dont i ?
anyways, .. Today i woke up feeling so broken and didnot really feel like going to work, it's like i had that gut feeling that something wrong is gona happen and it's like someone telling me , just be careful today ... i was wondering why , then i just thought maybe coz i am worried about my sister because she always speeds up , so i just sent her a message to be careful and take care ....... 5 minutes later , and i had an accidnet that just damaged me emotionally and somehow physically ~ god it was like three or fours cars , but my car case was the worse because i could barely drive it ..... el7mdella and thank god that i didnot get hurt much, it's only the pain of the shock that made me feel somehow tired ..

P.S: Read ad3ia, put your belts on, slow down, keep a distance and drive safely ...

Me From Yesterday !

2007-02-28T11:24:00.000+04:00

Gd Morning,

Yesterday was the start of a very severe cold that i never experienced before, it was like someone was breaking my bones , my eyes were boiling, the heat felt within me was just unbelieveable .. the first time i felt really unable to focus or think , even during my meetings i were inhaling and exhaling so fast , felt lonely in the crowd and felt like calling someone for me to survive .. ya i was repeating your name within my heart asking you to come and take me with you .... You might tell me it's only a flue but it felt more than that ..
After thankfully the working day ended, i was heading home , then suddenly my tears started to slide on my cheecks , i just told myself , never know that you are that much weak , what's wrong with you ... Then couldn't wait to go to the clinic and the doc asked me to take my tablets and rest for god sake because if i dont it's gona get worse .. so he just gave me a leave ... i forgot to ask him to put your name with the tablets because you are the only tablet that can make me feel good , because you are the most person who can draw a smile on TL's face ........ luv ya

Flu Self-Care at home:
1) Rest in bed. Avoid physical exertion
2) Drink plenty of fluids like water or juice
3) Stay away from people who have the flue, if possible
4) Avoid touching hard surfaces where flue viruses many remain alive
5) Take your tablets on time
6) Motivate yourself and talk to people you love =) >> extra from me ;p

P.S: Wish you all a happy day without cold ;p

IS is then a WAS

2007-02-24T22:09:00.000+04:00

Actually this is one of my old posts that i read and felt good afterwards, so i thought of bringing it in my blog again ... One of the way we learn in life is through our mistakes ..let an is becomes a was ..

Our problem is that when we are not feeling good , we had that calculator that starts counting all our mistakes over lifetime and when we get the result we start feeling crushed like god i never learn from my mistakes ...

but just a minute , mistakes can happen , think of the mistake you have just done now and before and compare it in volume not in number ..... it's human nature , that we always remember the bad parts in our character and deeds but the nice things just dont come in mind .... so stop punishing yourself and hurting others and yourself ..

Unluckily sometimes we try our best to make others so happy because we love them .... Then we forget the most important thing which is "the right time" and just say something that can blow up all what we did , it feels like you had an exam and then u failed .. ya awfual i know .. but anyways we should always try not to push others so hard with our feelings and thoughts , they have enough .. If you felt bad of what you did just make it was and start feeling good , dont feel guilty because it just kills to burden yourself with that amount of guilt ..

Some things to follow:

Learning lessons is usually a painful experience, but it doesn't have to be so ..
Dont spend a long time experiencing pain, just go ahead with your life and look at everything positively ..

If you hurt someone, dont say:

" I am mean because i hurt somone " but say, "I am a nice person who hurt someone and i am gona apologize" ...

If someone hurt you say:

"I've learned that noboday's perfect, and i dont expect myself to be perfect anymore"

We always try to help others in many situations, if u can't help them at least dont hurt them ..

Much of our pain is self-chosen. we choose whether to remain depressed or happy .. it is all in our hands ... So why dont u just sing your tragedy goodbye and grin

Ur mood acts like mirror.Your mood reflects on many parts of you and that radiates beauty, warmth and love (if u r happy) ,,, anger, tension and hatred (if u r in a bad mood)

So why u spend a long time on miseries ,, make them WAS and enjoy ur life .. LIFE IS GREAT

P.S: Love you ..

Tired !

2007-02-23T16:22:00.000+04:00

Today i woke up and i was feeling so tired and cold , it was like i am weak , my hands were numb and can't move but tried to ignore all of that to do not feel that i am really sick ....... then i started to feel my heart was beating so fast as if i saw an enormous spider dangling in front of my face .... the previous week was very heavy to the extent that i do feel now unable to do a single task or finish any assignment during my weekend , it's very awfual when you feel so and everyone seems like they had a spicy meal or sth and they start dealing with ya in wrath and anger ... as if you need more things to overload u , more than what you have ... I really hope that this feeling of tiredness is gona just go away , i started to take vitamins and panadol , hope that is gona make me feel better ......

I do miss a special person maybe that's what making me feel kinda of more tired ,, it's very bad when you feel missing someone .. P.S: i need you to pet me on the head and tell me everything is okay .. I Luv you

Have you ..

2007-02-17T22:29:00.000+04:00

Gd Evening,

Have u ever thought that a person in ur life is more important than anyone , have u ever said "that person means a lot to me and he/she deserves all my love and care", have u ever hurt a beloved to satisfy other people who u just set them to be in lower degrees ... Have u ever broke a heart who loved u like no one , who teared among ur miseries, who prayed for you day and night when u were suffering from a pain , who felt depressed when you left for a while , who upset many people to make u feel happy .. Have u ?

If you have just did , keep in mind that this person has been damaged from inside when she just got both harsh treatment and have cried secretively , laying on the bed hiding the tears , telling herself "Do i deserve all that pain from you , do i deserve being neglected , do i deserve you preferring to talk to others rather than ignoring them when i am with you " ....... maybe the busy life just made u not noticing how you are killing your beloved by what you do .... If you really wana make sure that you have never done anything wrong , just place yourself in your beloved position and start visualizing your reaction and how your feelings will look like when they just do the exact deed ......... A Human being doesn't deserve being humiliated that much , we are all having the same path , we'll die and nothing will remain at last except the good memories , if we dont die today maybe tomorrow , next year or the year after ... never hurt your beloved because if they are gone , your regrets will be for no use .. You'll have a guilty conscious that might give u a miserable life ..... and you'll just say "Have I ........ " , your consicous then will reply "Yes you have" ........

Gd night and have a good day tomorrow ...

Hard Times

2007-02-14T22:30:00.000+04:00

Hard times , who doesn't go through them , surely no one .. the best thing after every hardship is the relief you get when it's gone and becomes history. When you are placed in a situtation where no one can make a decision except you, you feel you are taken to the farest place in the solar system , maybe Mars, Pluto, i dona know .. and then you start the imagination world that combines fear , dilemma , reluctance , name it ... You feel you are unable to think , somehow paralyzed and others feel you are in a comma because you are mostly not interacting with anyone , mostly you are isolated from the public and you spend most of your time in your very strange privacy ... You look pale, unhappy , freaked out and all the negative words combined ..

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."~ Elbert Hubbard ~

Then you just tell yourself , god i cannot make up my mind and you get more confused , i wont blame others if they just said , why you are making a big deal out of nothing, because they are not in my shoes .. Bully people play here an effective role when you are in such a state , and then they start intruding and overloading you with accusations of being you unable to make a decision .. well duh , it's non of your business ..

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."~ Mark Twain (1835-1910) ~

After being for so long in your own loop , you just find out finally how to end it , then the paths in your brain become more clearer and the decision starts to geriminate in you mind .. at the end of my thinking journey i just realized that i shouldn't had grave doubts about my ability to make a big decision and damn i wonder how i could manage not to explode on people who just tried to get into my skin and mislead me all the way ..

Life is just a job. Do it perfectly, u’ll get a bonus, do it badly u’ll get fired .. so we really should be careful when we are asked to make big decisions because being regretfull wont make any difference and will be definitely to no avail ..

Gd Night folks =)

Mind Mapping

2007-02-13T19:01:00.000+04:00

We all have many goals we would like to achieve in life whether it's family, friends or work. You'll notice whenever you attend a seminar or a lecture, they'll start saying you should get your goals organized bla bal bla , but just a minute i really need to know what my goals are and then i start organizing them afterwards .. Some people pass through a heartache or grief and they say i really wana move forward but dont know where to start .. Here comes the mind map where you have a central idea and then you start branching them down clearly in a way that your brain can percept ..

You'll say i'll have a to-do list and that's enough to keep me on the right track but that's not an effective way to get both sides of the brain invloved - right hemisphere (thought to be concerned with creativity and imagination, ) and the left hemisphere (responsible for logic and analysis) ... Mind Map can add more quality to our plans and decisions and can make them clearer and more understandable ..

If you are at work and you've been asked to choose between two projects to start with, here you'll have many ideas spring to you mind and you tell yourself i really have to take this and that into account. The more ideas you start to think about, the more your brain dither and you'll be in a dilemma .. so you really need to chart your thoughts and so you can connect your ideas , presented as a network of words .. Here your brain will be more able to process at first and then explore ... that means your brain will break down the ideas and so you are better able to realize things more truthfully ..

How to create your mind map ????
1. Devote yourself for 20 mintues (uninterrupted) to think of pens with different colours at least 3 and start to think how you are gona structure your mind map
2. Decide the goal you wana achieve , whether it's something you wana get over or something you hope to achieve or just getting a sense of where you stand .. This is gona be the starting point of your mind map , it will be the main image where all your thoughts and feelings will start to spring from it ..
3. Draw a few main branches moving out from your main goal , e.g friends, family , work , future ... etc
4. Start with a brain storming mind map - it's like you are having the structure of your mind map , after placing the branches you'll start moving down your feelings under each one of them ..
5. Your mind map contains key words , so if one of your key words is career , you should have related words like salary or promotion , confidence ... note that you can always branch more and more under any word if you want to ..
6. Connect all lines
7. Try to make your map more visual
8. Ordering your ideas can help you prioritize them ..
9. Draw wavy lines ~ it's more memorable than straight
10. Use arrows to link your ideas

Hope that was enlightening =)

Gd Night

Words that made my heart smile ..

2007-02-12T20:43:00.000+04:00

What makes you so attached to someone ? what makes your heart smile when you see someone ? what makes your life full of nice events and joy ? They are basically nice memories with a special person ... we all have many people to talk to or hang out with but there is always one person who you can have heart-to-heart talk with , who has all your secrets , who handle you not only at your best but also at your worst , who always consider you priority , respects , loves and cares about you like no one .. and she occupies the largest space in your heart .. who never lies or stab you in the back or underestimate you in front of others .. who never say a word that can simply destroy or shutter your soul .. who never hide things behind her words , but what you see , you get ...

This person abscense can make your life empty and dull and it can make you feel that you lost your other half .. and if you get up one day and didnot receieve from her a call , you'll realise that you are alone in the crowd .. It's always the good memories that keep us together and makes the love increases day after day .. It's very impressing how you meet many people and you do have great memories with them , but it's always different when it comes to the person who set at the top of your priority friends list .. You feel that this person is part of you and you can just be very open with her without being reluctant or feared .. some people really dont respect such a relationship and they just destroy it by a word or being careless .. then being regretful can never bring you that person but you'll always remember the good memories and you hope that u didnot hurt them ......

Sometimes people tell me , it's not good to love someone so much , it's not only love but respect , trust , care and many other things that can make a relationship stronger and healthier .. and i do believe that every person has her own way to express love , whether it's little or a lot but anyways it's their ways to deliever their message ... So you cannot really compare your ways of caring with others because what makes every person special is how they care and be patient with you all the way .. so you cannot really be judgmental and start listing negatives and postives about your special person ..

Today i had few words from a special person that made me remember all the good memories , it's like it refreshes all the good time we always have and it really healed my hidden wounds .. maybe wounds i've been trying to hide and be strong .. Words that made my heart smile and feel that i was suffering a lot but there is someone who considered all my love and care and loves me like no one .. Words that placed "anti-pain" in my heart and made me so flattered !
Words that made me feel loved and deserve to be loved ..

Thank you so much for being always there , thank you for the lovely words you said , thank you ..

Forgot to thank Queen for tagging me ~ and i'll tag now:

- Darkangel
- Funky Star
- Queen
- AD_Queen
- Mitsuki
- Faith

I am not sure what's that , but i'll just do the same :P

Good Night

10 Things you don't know about me

2007-02-07T20:21:00.000+04:00

Thanks Queen for tagging me , as you asked me to do , here you are =)

10 Things you don't know about me:

1. I have the nack to differentiate between good and bad people (usually my friends call it god gift)
2. I have a problem, if i get hurt frequently i can't love that person like i used to .. it's hard !
3. If someone screams at me out of sudden , i remain mute for a while and dont feel like talking
4. I love writing and reading
5. I freak out when i see cats "Big Time"
6. Betrayal , lie and less care , can create a huge leak in my relationships
7. If you wana know my emotions , just look at my face and you can read them
8. Dont know how to tag others :P
9. Love drinking tea with milk , some of my friends call me "chay 7leab"
10. I have a combinations of characters , maybe , funny, wise, sensetive, patient , very caring ..
ya sometimes you'll say irrelated , but ya this is me ;)

Dont know the rest ...

I guess there will always be more things you dont know about me , i cannot recall the rest :P

Gd Night in advance

Work issue !

2007-02-05T23:04:00.000+04:00

I read my bestie's blog today and it's like triggered one of the things that was upsetting me and i was overlooking it lately ... Workplace is one of the factors that control your mood over your day and if you 80% dont feel comfortable or happy about it , then your mood is kinda of fluctuating over the day .. like she said you keep watching the clock and you dont feel that much enthusiastic to go to work, so you'll find yourself being late ....... in my perspective, you can really sign your resignation form if you are having the following:

- If your boss gives you one task with a deadline and keep adding million of changes and then blame you for
not finishing on time , in other words, unbearable manager !

- If your job becomes not interesting anymore
- If your colleagues make you taste the hell whenever you wana progress
- If you dont have a reason to stay ,"flexible working hours to continue study" for instance
- If your work never thought of developing your skills
- If the place is not healthy
- If you feel deteriorating more than improving ..
- If you have a very weak HR Department

At the end you really should think thoroughly from all sides when you make such a decision because if you left a job
you might sink into another where you might be more regretfull and despairing ..

Good night :)

I can mend Your Broken heart

2007-02-04T22:34:00.000+04:00

I just bought a book from few days ago and felt like sharing it with you ..
I CAN MEND YOUR BROKEN HEART ~ for PAUL McKENNA & HUGH WILLBOURN

It really shows you what hearache means and why do we feel depressed when we get our heart broken from someone beloved or we used to call him/her beloved .. then how you can stop feeling bad and start loving again ... It's good to read it eventhough you are not betrayed or hurt .. frankly speaking, i loved the colors and the title was kinda of catching , so felt like reading it .. well, i am so happy that i shared this book with someone who really needs to read it and can get some of their wounds healed .. hope so ..

Relationships are very important especially when it's with a person who we consider the most important human in our life, therefore we should never ever say the sentence we should break up .. it really shatters the soul and not every person can take it lightly , some can take it seriously and you believe it or not you might lose them .....

Like Opera always says "Dont let a great frienship slips away, husbands come and go but friends stay forever"
Not every friendship we cannot live without but some friendships if you lose, you feel like you lost yourself .. so be careful !

To have a healthy relationship , just take these things into account:

^_^ Dont get angry and blame them the whole time
^_^ Show them how nice they are and how they really made a difference in your life
^_^ Let them know that they mean the world to you
^_^ Stop being like a detective with them , they might get bored
^_^ Listen to them more and talk less when they are upset
^_^ When they are busy or sad , dont overburden them with your problems , they have enough !
^_^ If they told you we'll hang up, make your conversation less , conclude and hang up
^_^ Stop saying the word "i want , or i am " to avoid sounding selfish
^_^ Find the right time to advise them
^_^ Dont ever hide anything from them , because if they discovered it , trust will be kissed goodbye
^_^ Never hang up while they are talking and never sigh and repeat their names angrily
^_^ Avoid the word You , You , You did this and that .. try to paly with the words to make it sound good , e.g the situation was not that good and i didnot liked it ..
^_^ Dont talk about others , while they are talking about themselves or trying to pour out their feelings to you, you'll sound not caring ..

Enjoy and Good night :)

You Asked me !

2007-02-02T18:45:00.000+04:00

It really bugs so hard when you just feel expressing things to someone close to you but you dont seem finding that person , so you start filling your heart with everything you dislike because you cannot just pour out what you have in .. The problem you cannot blame or say a single word because you are afraid of provoking a row that might never end .. you can say I fear i do fear a lot that i might ignite somethinig in other words .. i dont like to blame my beloved for not taking care of me because you feel yourself kinda of stupid and i dont really like that feeling ...... a whole complete day you do feel upset and whenever you call you dont get an answer , so you just stay where you are and say i shall use my hand to write because it seems this is the only way i can feel good or i can know what's wrong with me ...... negligence is what i hate most and if you just express that indirectly , no one get it ... They keep talking and talking about others very often and just a minute what about me , am i not priority or what ...... you keep adding all the feelings you have of being a little upset besides what your beloved do that you dont like and you end up feel like pulling your hair out or breaking something ........

Then you stop for a while and tell yourself for god sake what shall i do ? then when i get so sad and feel not being able to talk to any and i am out of patiencec, you just come and ask me what's wrong with you ............. tell me what would my answer be ? Nothing !

It seems that writing becomes my shelter , i don't hide much behind the words. i do use them to dig inside my heart to find out the reason behind my sadness .. maybe my readers dont like much what i write but i do feel comfortable when i just keep writing about what i do and how people get under my skin and how that annoys me .. it's not that i dont have the courage to confront them or i am autistic .. but maybe cause i do feel tired from repeating ifs, ands and buts ...

and it just becomes so hectic ....... i really love writing about my tender loving care for all my folks and how do i care and wish to get less or equal the amount in return and how do i miss them and i wish they know how much i do .. at the end we are all human and each person expresses on his or her own way .... i am starting to find out the way that makes me be more myself and i do like it there ... It's writing !

Let's get out of the sandess zone and let me share with you some picx of today :)
Celebrity of getting the Gulf Cup was really amaaaaazing

Having the ruler of Dubai with the people in their happiness really made me see how kind and modest he is .. =)

The weather today was amaazing !

Finally i just had dinner with dad and sis in PAUL and by that i ended my day ..

Enjoy , and good night folks ...

Speaking my mind

2007-01-29T23:42:00.000+04:00

How great to be told what your weaknesses are and then you take them to heart and you make your step to make a difference and what you think is right which can definitely make you then and your partner feel good and maybe more satisfied.

My problem was that there are issues I knew that they don’t exist or maybe they do but I kept thinking of them and I gave them a lot of my thinking and energy which made me somehow become so vulnerable. It’s like there was a distinct voice in my head that kept repeating sentences I don’t like to know. I won’t tell you I never tried to ignore that little voice but it just so insistent. i couldn't feel anymore better because it's like when you pass through a hard time, lovley things in your life get changed maybe unexpectedly .. u know what, sometimes when i receive a big amount of disrespect or any, after a long time i just tell myself, god how could i be that much patient .. but believe me being me patient and nice leave me receive heartache in each time ,, and because i've been ignoring for a long time , i got collapsed ..

Ignorance (not a solution) ... you should speak out what you feel whenever you feel so upset from someone ...
(Open conversation can help you a lot)

Think that nothing worth it , nothing worth it ...

“It takes great courage to faithfully follow what we know to be true”

Being me sensitive is the most thing I won’t say I hate but I don’t prefer to be the reaction on any situation because it makes me become such a cry-baby that I don’t bare. It’s like if you said something so touching or maybe not, my tears start sliding on my cheeks and when I tell them stop, they just continue. I know I wouldn’t be like that if I wasn’t feeling already burdened from all sides.

God sometimes I become so funny. If I encountered an embarrassing situation or I am stuck in an open conversation with someone, I can start a very long conversation inside me and that becomes like a movie that is on show. And when I just meet friends or any and tell them about the situation, they’ll be like omg how dare you and I just look at them and say, well that was expressed within me silently, I was on mute. I just say. So they just crack up and I feel like slapping them . Sometimes not all situations require you talking because you can either get yourself into so much trouble or it might not be the right time.

I really passed through such a hard time lately with many people and that made me tell myself “nothing really worth it”. I just realized that I made a special person feels bad for being me in such a state. I really would replace the words, depression, stress, tension, negligence, hatred, pessimistic with only one word that can act like a wound healer that is “a smile”. I should search for a smile and share it with others and that surely can make my life exquisite.

P.S: "A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us." Qouted !

Unbelievable situation !

2007-01-28T22:39:00.000+04:00

Hi all ..

Today I was at my office thinking of how I can get all of that work done while I am so obsessed about something else. That thought of being you so down made me feel so bad. It’s like all my attempts to make you feel good is for no use. I tried to get you talking and so you get things off your chest but again I drawn in the confusion zone where I got more and more confused. I frankly analyze systems at work and I wont tell you that they don’t have bugs but they end up successfully at the end but in real life most of my analyzed issues end up in failure which is bad ha. Maybe I always forget my successes and find myself dwelling on the failures.

Anyhow, I just told myself TL back to work and stop messing around but unfortunately I still felt myself on bed with my lovely pillow, the most asset I love in my room. I thought of having some tea and so I can get more focused on the task in hand. Believe it or not, while I was making the tea, I realized there is kind of mysterious movement in the pantry. Guess what. One of the creatures I cannot bear and detest most was just starting at me like a dog. That was a mouse, a black scary ugly one. I started to sweat and felt kind of numbness in my legs. My facial expressions I don’t wana talk about. That was really unbelievable. Suddenly one of the people just got in and that mouse just vanished. I was like there is a mouse and you should do something and that human was like it’s only a pet. That’s great, a mouse is a pet now. Actually that kept me awake the whole day without having another cup of tea. So thank you Mr. Mouse for freaking the hill out of me and keeping me active for the whole day. :P

Here are some picx i would like to share

>> a very funny couzin //

>> a novel that i hope to read // and wont be added to my collection

Take care all and good night :)

Awfual , nothing more !

2007-01-23T20:02:00.000+04:00

How awfual the level we reached in this life .. no one can get hold of anything and people always upset and mixed up and then you feel urself walking in a loop that has no end .. no one bears anyone and no one loves listening to anyone, we always say we have enough ! why do we have to listen ... lies lies lies and we just ignore and live with hypocritical people and believe them in public but deep down we have that gut feeling of them being untrue , they are just fake ..

Then we just repeat the words on us to make us just smile , "what goes around, definitely comes around" ..

They push you away from them or get you closer as if you are a cue on a billiard table .. then you just get lost and not being aware of what their intention is ... I dont know how can i describe that feeling of not being satisfied because i am not being able to understand .. I am just tired from keeping those principles of mine and act maturely. People always say you are so rational and wise but i am not feeling that anymore because many things seem to put me down and less focused .. I was just telling my sis , am i acting like a teen but this is not the true me .. i reached a point where i cannot think whether or not i am doing okay at work or if i am really that happy or lucky like everyone says .. it's like the smallest things make me ask myself "am i depressed or just down" ..

Damn the care i have for everyone i hate it ,, i wish i had that black heart with harsh words .. believe me people will like me more and will treat me as a golden piece and not just a crap .. Feel myself disoriented , i really dont know what to do .. it's like whenever i get out of a worrisome , i just get into another .. now i am really freaked and so worried about my mom .... i was so happy that she finished her surgeries and now she is pained and that makes me so confused and not being able to think , her issue was like a nightmare that i dont want it to return ....... but again it seems my problem ..

P.S: Something i wana share >> Motivate and relieve yourself and dont wait for others to do that for you ..
Dont be afraid to enocunter any situation , and dont ignore because it's gona just make your state worse .. because you'll end up collapsing and getting out all ur anger at once .. Never underestimate yourself and be proud to be who you are no matter how others disappoint you ...

Thank you !

2007-01-22T22:23:00.000+04:00

My Though was Dread !

I sit on my office to think
My eyes started to blink
And my cheeks turned pink

In my thought I started to flow
An air beside me begin to blow
A man was there I know
With ugly freaky face to show

I asked him from me "go away"
My beloved I asked to stay
And for me, attention to pay
But for reliving me no one stay
He turned at me and say

Why your life you didn't bear
From others you seek care
Being happy, for you that was rare
For people too much you despair
You lost the beautiful you
And of that you were not aware
People ask, what and you say where
What you did to yourself is unfair
For a while to him I just stare

Who are you? I just said
He told me I am in your head
Who are you? Again I said
Your thinking that is dread
That made you beat and dead

Yesterday i went through an awfual state , i started to write that today

coz i felt how i wasted my tears and i dried my eyes :P for nothing ........

Keep in mind that life passes by now like the scenery ouside a car window and we

really have to enjoy every moment ..

I took this pic , i dont know why but i loved it .. :P

PS: I would like to thank you for being with me today to cheer me up.

without you in my life i feel really an emptiness in my soul .. Thank you

a lot

Today !

2007-01-21T12:00:00.000+04:00

Today i woke up having a very heavy heart ,, then i felt like going out to have some fresh air with any
but everyone seemed busy and didnot have anyone to go out with , so i decided to stay home like yesterday .. u know what really makes me feel so irritated is i really spent the last previous months studying
so hard for my master and that made me feel like many things i like doing remained undone .. now where
i have a vacation for a while i really need to releave my mind by doing things i couldn't do while i am studying
and working .. I really feel like going out with friends , having some good time and relax ..
but again that feeling is like becoming inconsiderate sometimes and it's like someone inside me talks and keep
talking and play the sentence "how could you stay at home, u really have to have good time" .. then i just
say shut up and he keeps talking ..

I dont know if anyone had such a strange feeling .. it's crazy .. and i do think it's crazy but i dont realize how
crazy it is unless i get busy again ,, so awkward ..

Respect and bad mood

2007-01-19T16:07:00.000+04:00

Respect is what many lacks nowadays and that what makes many people get hurt ,, eventhough many know how

important this feature is, i wont say the majority but the minority overlooks "respect" in their relationship with

not only others but their beloved, people who they regard as the most important in their life ..

When we say respect , it's very important when you deal with your manager, colleagues, family members, friends ..

because this is the base of any successful relationship. basically it's the key and without it a healthy bond will be

missing ... Does your bad mood lead you to disrespect ???

So are you driven by your moods, or ruled by your feelings .. in this case, you really have to master your moods because others don't deserve handling your anger or harsh words just because you are in a bad mood .. It's right that friends should handle others at their worst but if their worst is never changed and it's always there , that means you are not trying to get out of what you are passing through .. Dealing with anger by having blazing rows over any issue doesn't mean that the relationship is healthy and those two people are getting so along with each other which makes them fight from time to time but it means that both of them has a problem of not being able to handle their emotions, in other words not having positive moods ..

Some people start screaming at each other, cursing, swearing and after a while they come back and apologize , it becoms a typical stuff .. maybe not now but after some time you'll realize that it's so tedious and tiring , it really takes a lot of your energy and end up you feeling depressed .. So how can you handle this and have a healthy relationship ? When there is something not very important bothering you just start to calm down and be alone for a while , forget the issue for some time and the importance of this issue will vanish , so the sulking period will reduce and you'll be fresh again .. by that you'll be able to realize what's really important and what's not ..

"Anger can make you say or do stupid things - it can reduce your social inhibitory mechanism and endanger other people - physically or emotionally." ..

Keep in mind the bad mood can reduce your immunity system and that will reduce your amount of food and make you get more diseases ... If you dont try to train yourself to get positive mood by enjoying your time , you'll end up regreting of losing many nice things in ur life .. Dont be a slave to your feelings and try to get over them "Never wallow" ..

So what should you do to get out of this bad mood ..

We really can make our bad mood not last for so long but we cannot stop it from coming ..

Anger ~

- Cool off. If a person annoyed you , just try to distract yourself and stay away from the situation or the person ..

Melancholy ~

- Change your way of rumination. 'She left me and i'll be always alone" becomes "The relationship wasn't so great because ... " ..

- Sadness can make you have low arousal .. so aerobics can make you have a high arousal ..

Empathy ~

- Use relaxation techniques , such as hot baths, relaxing meditation .. etc

Let your mood be happy to have a good refelction on your life and make every day passes great =)