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Tuesday, 23 January 2007
Awfual , nothing more !

How awfual the level we reached in this life .. no one can get hold of anything and people always upset and mixed up and then you feel urself walking in a loop that has no end .. no one bears anyone and no one loves listening to anyone, we always say we have enough ! why do we have to listen ... lies lies lies and we just ignore and live with hypocritical people and believe them in public but deep down we have that gut feeling of them being untrue , they are just fake ..

Then we just repeat the words on us to make us just smile , "what goes around, definitely comes around" ..

They push you away from them or get you closer as if you are a cue on a billiard table .. then you just get lost and not being aware of what their intention is ... I dont know how can i describe that feeling of not being satisfied because i am not being able to understand .. I am just tired from keeping those principles of mine and act maturely. People always say you are so rational and wise but i am not feeling that anymore because many things seem to put me down and less focused .. I was just telling my sis , am i acting like a teen but this is not the true me .. i reached a point where i cannot think whether or not i am doing okay at work or if i am really that happy or lucky like everyone says .. it's like the smallest things make me ask myself "am i depressed or just down" ..

Damn the care i have for everyone i hate it ,, i wish i had that black heart with harsh words .. believe me people will like me more and will treat me as a golden piece and not just a crap .. Feel myself disoriented , i really dont know what to do .. it's like whenever i get out of a worrisome , i just get into another .. now i am really freaked and so worried about my mom .... i was so happy that she finished her surgeries and now she is pained and that makes me so confused and not being able to think , her issue was like a nightmare that i dont want it to return ....... but again it seems my problem ..

P.S: Something i wana share >> Motivate and relieve yourself and dont wait for others to do that for you ..
Dont be afraid to enocunter any situation , and dont ignore because it's gona just make your state worse .. because you'll end up collapsing and getting out all ur anger at once .. Never underestimate yourself and be proud to be who you are no matter how others disappoint you ...


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~ TorturedLady is a woman with principles who doesn't care what others think or how would they react .. no matter what criticism she might get , she always passes by with pride because she is different .. ~ ..


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