lately i dont seem talking much i am kinda of recitent, and this what makes me feel so tired and what hurts me more is that i set to be a good model for many , so if i just showed a little of my misery , everyone will start saying oh no this is not u , so i'll start hiding and it's painful ...
sometimes i wana scream , cry and say how miserable i am and how things in my life i dont like and i wish if i could change or improve .. today i was really not able to talk at all , i reached home after the hectic work , had my lunch and it was so little *my mom was like, is that all, is it enough* , i said yes and went to sleep for hours just to forget what i am going through , woke up and felt more miserable and i wished that i didnot sleep ......
i wish i know what's wrong with me and i wish i can get over this but i dona know .. the most touching thing today was that all my family members didnot notice that i was depressed but my little 10 years sis saw me and she couldn't finish her lunch , she was like TL sis what's wrong with u , i dont feel u normal today ...... deep down i was telling myself , oh god how children are innocent, transparent and more able to realize things maybe more than adults who should have a better observation, i really love children they are so sweet, adorable and they never say something to hurt you but coz they dont know a better way to express or behave ...... i wish adults were the same and i wish my heart was tougher than it is ..
Sorry for sounding so miserable but i am really passing through an awfual depression for 3 days , trying to ignore and smile but i dont feel happy from inside and i really can't take it .......
Have a nice day
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Gd Afternoon =)
Life is just a job. Do it perfectly, u’ll get a bonus, do it badly u’ll get fired ..basically i used to tell me bestie , life is like an onioun , the more you peel the more you cry .. :P anyways ...
Okay you might wonder why am i saying that .. all of us face obstacles in life, whether it's work, study, family, etc .. and we might sometimes get upset , depressed and not satisfied , most of us might feel that they have been taken for granted , it might be true and it may not (only in ur brain) .. for instance, you might be asked to do something and then it turns out to be not successful , you'll start saying i am always like that, i always work my hardest but things dont work out the way i want , i am jinxed , goofy , ediot and and ... all the negatives go on ..
You really should keep in mind that what you say really get stored in your brain and definitely it will just be reflected on your behaviour that will make others dont feel like being with you and you might feel not willing to be with urself as well .. it will make you say things unbelievable that will show you or other that you are becoming a bit exaggerated ,, maybe like I love dinosaurs so much that i have always thought i'd like to have one for a pet .. (Joking) .. but it could be :P .. Emotions are the most thing that can lead you to a disaster because if you get an offence or bad treatment from someone and then you just think of it the negative way , god i got offended , why and how and when and god .. it's just like u r killing yourself .. you really should take charge of your emotions .. put excuses for others , they might be mistaken sometimes but you should be the person who you can say forgiving , take off the self pride because you'll mean a lot to God .. and always take it that way , "What goes around comes around" .. so if your manager for instance treated you unfairly , you'll hear in a day that he is back to be a normal staff and you might be the CEO .. ya i am just telling u , u never know .. :P Try not to be angry the whole time because it makes you drained and unable to focus , so if u have someone who made u feel furious, dont say i wish i can slap them and so they forget their forename , no say maybe they have something that made them be annoyed or if they are not important , give them 1% of ur caring ..
This life is really like a railway station and surely you'll pass through many places where you can learn more how to deal with others and yourself, you'll get upset , happy , optimistic or any .. that will really add things on ur life experience and make u more able to value things in ur life and give it the right value ..
Always keep your smile and thank god for what you have in hand and many wish to have =)
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Gd evening folks,
i was sitting on my bed and wanted to start studying but i just have some thoughts wana express before that ..
do you feel satisfied about yourself , some might say yes and others may say no , and others probably will say kinda of ..
Face the mirror and start asking yourself ? am i really satisfied about myself .. am i listening to music excessively , am i praying , have i hurt someone or am i abusing someone , or humilating my beloved , am i ? am i exaggerating sometimes , did i misunderstood someone and that was so hurtfull .. did i heard a gossip about someone special and believed it .. am i an unbearable friend, aunt or sister ,,, .. have u replaced precious people who gave you all the love and care with people will never last for you .. sometimes you might really throw a word which can destroy your beloved emotionally ,, are you really able to put your head on the pillow and sleep afterwards ..... i cannot believe how people became so insensetive where they just hurt and treat people who means nothing to them nicely and people who means a lot nothing .. what kind of measurement do you have , how do you value , what your priority looks like .... you really should shape your thinking again and set your priority .. dont act wisely and have that sense of arrogance that many loves you because you never know what news you'll get tomorrow ...
Never believe in lies about your beloved no matter what ..
Never hurt a person who gave you all the tender loving care they have
Never ignore a person who considered you like a sister or an aunt or whatever because of people who poisoned your brain to treat them badly ...
Never throw a word without thinking because you can lose a great friendship by that ..
Be wise and kind
Be caring and merciful
Be polite and able to notice who's important and who's not ..
Dont treat all people the same coz every person has his/her own place
Dont believe all people because they might take you for granted
Good Night
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