TorturedLadydxb

Wednesday, 28 February 2007

Me From Yesterday !

Gd Morning,

Yesterday was the start of a very severe cold

that i never experienced before, it was like someone was breaking my bones , my eyes were boiling, the heat felt within me was just unbelieveable .. the first time i felt really unable to focus or think , even during my meetings i were inhaling and exhaling so fast , felt lonely in the crowd and felt like calling someone for me to survive .. ya i was repeating your name within my heart asking you to come and take me with you

.... You might tell me it's only a flue but it felt more than that ..
After thankfully the working day ended, i was heading home

, then suddenly my tears started to slide on my cheecks

, i just told myself , never know that you are that much weak , what's wrong with you ... Then couldn't wait to go to the clinic and the doc asked me to take my tablets and rest for god sake because if i dont it's gona get worse .. so he just gave me a leave ... i forgot to ask him to put your name with the tablets because you are the only tablet that can make me feel good , because you are the most person who can draw a smile on TL's face

........ luv ya

Flu Self-Care at home:
1) Rest in bed. Avoid physical exertion
2) Drink plenty of fluids like water or juice
3) Stay away from people who have the flue, if possible
4) Avoid touching hard surfaces where flue viruses many remain alive
5) Take your tablets on time
6) Motivate yourself and talk to people you love =) >> extra from me ;p

P.S: Wish you all a happy day without cold ;p

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Saturday, 24 February 2007

IS is then a WAS

Actually this is one of my old posts that i read and felt good afterwards, so i thought of bringing it in my blog again ...

One of the way we learn in life is through our mistakes ..let an is becomes a was ..

Our problem is that when we are not feeling good , we had that calculator that starts counting all our mistakes over lifetime and when we get the result we start feeling crushed like god i never learn from my mistakes ...

but just a minute , mistakes can happen , think of the mistake you have just done now and before and compare it in volume not in number ..... it's human nature , that we always remember the bad parts in our character and deeds but the nice things just dont come in mind .... so stop punishing yourself and hurting others and yourself ..

Unluckily sometimes we try our best to make others so happy because we love them .... Then we forget the most important thing which is "the right time" and just say something that can blow up all what we did , it feels like you had an exam and then u failed .. ya awfual i know ..

but anyways we should always try not to push others so hard with our feelings and thoughts , they have enough .. If you felt bad of what you did just make it was and start feeling good , dont feel guilty because it just kills to burden yourself with that amount of guilt ..

Some things to follow:

Learning lessons is usually a painful experience, but it doesn't have to be so ..

Dont spend a long time experiencing pain, just go ahead with your life and look at everything positively ..

If you hurt someone, dont say:

" I am mean because i hurt somone " but say, "I am a nice person who hurt someone and i am gona apologize" ...

If someone hurt you say:

"I've learned that noboday's perfect, and i dont expect myself to be perfect anymore"

We always try to help others in many situations, if u can't help them at least dont hurt them ..

Much of our pain is self-chosen. we choose whether to remain depressed or happy .. it is all in our hands ... So why dont u just sing your tragedy goodbye and grin

Ur mood acts like mirror.Your mood reflects on many parts of you and that radiates beauty, warmth and love (if u r happy) ,,, anger, tension and hatred (if u r in a bad mood)

So why u spend a long time on miseries ,, make them WAS and enjoy ur life .. LIFE IS GREAT

P.S: Love you ..

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Friday, 23 February 2007

Tired !

Today i woke up and i was feeling so tired and cold

, it was like i am weak , my hands were numb and can't move but tried to ignore all of that to do not feel that i am really sick

....... then i started to feel my heart was beating so fast as if i saw an enormous spider dangling in front of my face ....

the previous week was very heavy to the extent that i do feel now unable to do a single task or finish any assignment during my weekend , it's very awfual when you feel so and everyone seems like they had a spicy meal or sth and they start dealing with ya in wrath and anger ...

as if you need more things to overload u , more than what you have ... I really hope that this feeling of tiredness is gona just go away , i started to take vitamins and panadol , hope that is gona make me feel better ......

I do miss a special person maybe that's what making me feel kinda of more tired ,, it's very bad when you feel missing someone .. P.S: i need you to pet me on the head and tell me everything is okay .. I Luv you

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Saturday, 17 February 2007

Have you ..

Gd Evening,

Have u ever thought that a person in ur life is more important than anyone , have u ever said "that person means a lot to me and he/she deserves all my love and care", have u ever hurt a beloved to satisfy other people who u just set them to be in lower degrees ... Have u ever broke a heart who loved u like no one , who teared among ur miseries, who prayed for you day and night when u were suffering from a pain , who felt depressed when you left for a while , who upset many people to make u feel happy .. Have u ?

If you have just did , keep in mind that this person has been damaged from inside when she just got both harsh treatment and have cried secretively , laying on the bed hiding the tears , telling herself "Do i deserve all that pain from you , do i deserve being neglected , do i deserve you preferring to talk to others rather than ignoring them when i am with you " ....... maybe the busy life just made u not noticing how you are killing your beloved by what you do .... If you really wana make sure that you have never done anything wrong , just place yourself in your beloved position and start visualizing your reaction and how your feelings will look like when they just do the exact deed .........

A Human being doesn't deserve being humiliated that much , we are all having the same path , we'll die and nothing will remain at last except the good memories , if we dont die today maybe tomorrow , next year or the year after ... never hurt your beloved because if they are gone , your regrets will be for no use .. You'll have a guilty conscious that might give u a miserable life ..... and you'll just say "Have I ........ " , your consicous then will reply "Yes you have" ........

Gd night and have a good day tomorrow ...

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Wednesday, 14 February 2007

Hard Times

Hard times , who doesn't go through them , surely no one .. the best thing after every hardship is the relief you get when it's gone and becomes history. When you are placed in a situtation where no one can make a decision except you, you feel you are taken to the farest place in the solar system , maybe Mars, Pluto, i dona know .. and then you start the imagination world that combines fear , dilemma , reluctance , name it ... You feel you are unable to think , somehow paralyzed and others feel you are in a comma because you are mostly not interacting with anyone , mostly you are isolated from the public and you spend most of your time in your very strange privacy ... You look pale, unhappy , freaked out and all the negative words combined ..

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."~ Elbert Hubbard ~

Then you just tell yourself , god i cannot make up my mind and you get more confused , i wont blame others if they just said , why you are making a big deal out of nothing, because they are not in my shoes .. Bully people play here an effective role when you are in such a state , and then they start intruding and overloading you with accusations of being you unable to make a decision .. well duh , it's non of your business ..

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."~ Mark Twain (1835-1910) ~

After being for so long in your own loop , you just find out finally how to end it , then the paths in your brain become more clearer and the decision starts to geriminate in you mind .. at the end of my thinking journey i just realized that i shouldn't had grave doubts about my ability to make a big decision and damn i wonder how i could manage not to explode on people who just tried to get into my skin and mislead me all the way ..

Life is just a job. Do it perfectly, u’ll get a bonus, do it badly u’ll get fired .. so we really should be careful when we are asked to make big decisions because being regretfull wont make any difference and will be definitely to no avail ..

Gd Night folks =)

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Tuesday, 13 February 2007

Mind Mapping

We all have many goals we would like to achieve in life whether it's family, friends or work. You'll notice whenever you attend a seminar or a lecture, they'll start saying you should get your goals organized bla bal bla , but just a minute i really need to know what my goals are and then i start organizing them afterwards .. Some people pass through a heartache or grief and they say i really wana move forward but dont know where to start .. Here comes the mind map where you have a central idea and then you start branching them down clearly in a way that your brain can percept ..

You'll say i'll have a to-do list and that's enough to keep me on the right track but that's not an effective way to get both sides of the brain invloved - right hemisphere (thought to be concerned with creativity and imagination, ) and the left hemisphere (responsible for logic and analysis) ... Mind Map can add more quality to our plans and decisions and can make them clearer and more understandable ..

If you are at work and you've been asked to choose between two projects to start with, here you'll have many ideas spring to you mind and you tell yourself i really have to take this and that into account. The more ideas you start to think about, the more your brain dither and you'll be in a dilemma .. so you really need to chart your thoughts and so you can connect your ideas , presented as a network of words .. Here your brain will be more able to process at first and then explore ... that means your brain will break down the ideas and so you are better able to realize things more truthfully ..

How to create your mind map ????
1. Devote yourself for 20 mintues (uninterrupted) to think of pens with different colours at least 3 and start to think how you are gona structure your mind map
2. Decide the goal you wana achieve , whether it's something you wana get over or something you hope to achieve or just getting a sense of where you stand .. This is gona be the starting point of your mind map , it will be the main image where all your thoughts and feelings will start to spring from it ..
3. Draw a few main branches moving out from your main goal , e.g friends, family , work , future ... etc
4. Start with a brain storming mind map - it's like you are having the structure of your mind map , after placing the branches you'll start moving down your feelings under each one of them ..
5. Your mind map contains key words , so if one of your key words is career , you should have related words like salary or promotion , confidence ... note that you can always branch more and more under any word if you want to ..
6. Connect all lines
7. Try to make your map more visual
8. Ordering your ideas can help you prioritize them ..
9. Draw wavy lines ~ it's more memorable than straight
10. Use arrows to link your ideas

Hope that was enlightening =)

Gd Night

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Monday, 12 February 2007

Words that made my heart smile ..

What makes you so attached to someone ? what makes your heart smile when you see someone ? what makes your life full of nice events and joy ? They are basically nice memories with a special person ... we all have many people to talk to or hang out with but there is always one person who you can have heart-to-heart talk with , who has all your secrets , who handle you not only at your best but also at your worst , who always consider you priority , respects , loves and cares about you like no one .. and she occupies the largest space in your heart .. who never lies or stab you in the back or underestimate you in front of others .. who never say a word that can simply destroy or shutter your soul .. who never hide things behind her words , but what you see , you get ...

This person abscense can make your life empty and dull and it can make you feel that you lost your other half .. and if you get up one day and didnot receieve from her a call , you'll realise that you are alone in the crowd .. It's always the good memories that keep us together and makes the love increases day after day .. It's very impressing how you meet many people and you do have great memories with them , but it's always different when it comes to the person who set at the top of your priority friends list .. You feel that this person is part of you and you can just be very open with her without being reluctant or feared .. some people really dont respect such a relationship and they just destroy it by a word or being careless .. then being regretful can never bring you that person but you'll always remember the good memories and you hope that u didnot hurt them ......

Sometimes people tell me , it's not good to love someone so much , it's not only love but respect , trust , care and many other things that can make a relationship stronger and healthier .. and i do believe that every person has her own way to express love , whether it's little or a lot but anyways it's their ways to deliever their message ... So you cannot really compare your ways of caring with others because what makes every person special is how they care and be patient with you all the way .. so you cannot really be judgmental and start listing negatives and postives about your special person ..

Today i had few words from a special person that made me remember all the good memories , it's like it refreshes all the good time we always have and it really healed my hidden wounds .. maybe wounds i've been trying to hide and be strong .. Words that made my heart smile and feel that i was suffering a lot but there is someone who considered all my love and care and loves me like no one .. Words that placed "anti-pain" in my heart and made me so flattered !
Words that made me feel loved and deserve to be loved ..

Thank you so much for being always there , thank you for the lovely words you said , thank you ..

Forgot to thank Queen for tagging me ~ and i'll tag now:

- Darkangel
- Funky Star
- Queen
- AD_Queen
- Mitsuki
- Faith

I am not sure what's that , but i'll just do the same :P

Good Night

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Wednesday, 7 February 2007

10 Things you don't know about me

Thanks Queen for tagging me , as you asked me to do , here you are =)

10 Things you don't know about me:

1. I have the nack to differentiate between good and bad people (usually my friends call it god gift)
2. I have a problem, if i get hurt frequently i can't love that person like i used to .. it's hard !
3. If someone screams at me out of sudden , i remain mute for a while and dont feel like talking
4. I love writing and reading
5. I freak out when i see cats "Big Time"
6. Betrayal , lie and less care , can create a huge leak in my relationships
7. If you wana know my emotions , just look at my face and you can read them
8. Dont know how to tag others :P
9. Love drinking tea with milk , some of my friends call me "chay 7leab"
10. I have a combinations of characters , maybe , funny, wise, sensetive, patient , very caring ..
ya sometimes you'll say irrelated , but ya this is me ;)

Dont know the rest ...

I guess there will always be more things you dont know about me , i cannot recall the rest :P

Gd Night in advance

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Monday, 5 February 2007

Work issue !

I read my bestie's blog today and it's like triggered one of the things that was upsetting me and i was overlooking it lately ... Workplace is one of the factors that control your mood over your day and if you 80% dont feel comfortable or happy about it , then your mood is kinda of fluctuating over the day .. like she said you keep watching the clock and you dont feel that much enthusiastic to go to work, so you'll find yourself being late ....... in my perspective, you can really sign your resignation form if you are having the following:

- If your boss gives you one task with a deadline and keep adding million of changes and then blame you for
not finishing on time , in other words, unbearable manager !

- If your job becomes not interesting anymore
- If your colleagues make you taste the hell whenever you wana progress
- If you dont have a reason to stay ,"flexible working hours to continue study" for instance
- If your work never thought of developing your skills
- If the place is not healthy
- If you feel deteriorating more than improving ..
- If you have a very weak HR Department

At the end you really should think thoroughly from all sides when you make such a decision because if you left a job
you might sink into another where you might be more regretfull and despairing ..

Good night :)

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Sunday, 4 February 2007

I can mend Your Broken heart

I just bought a book from few days ago and felt like sharing it with you ..
I CAN MEND YOUR BROKEN HEART ~ for PAUL McKENNA & HUGH WILLBOURN

It really shows you what hearache means and why do we feel depressed when we get our heart broken from someone beloved or we used to call him/her beloved .. then how you can stop feeling bad and start loving again ... It's good to read it eventhough you are not betrayed or hurt .. frankly speaking, i loved the colors and the title was kinda of catching , so felt like reading it .. well, i am so happy that i shared this book with someone who really needs to read it and can get some of their wounds healed .. hope so ..

Relationships are very important especially when it's with a person who we consider the most important human in our life, therefore we should never ever say the sentence we should break up .. it really shatters the soul and not every person can take it lightly , some can take it seriously and you believe it or not you might lose them .....

Like Opera always says "Dont let a great frienship slips away, husbands come and go but friends stay forever"
Not every friendship we cannot live without but some friendships if you lose, you feel like you lost yourself .. so be careful !

To have a healthy relationship , just take these things into account:

^_^ Dont get angry and blame them the whole time
^_^ Show them how nice they are and how they really made a difference in your life
^_^ Let them know that they mean the world to you
^_^ Stop being like a detective with them , they might get bored
^_^ Listen to them more and talk less when they are upset
^_^ When they are busy or sad , dont overburden them with your problems , they have enough !
^_^ If they told you we'll hang up, make your conversation less , conclude and hang up
^_^ Stop saying the word "i want , or i am " to avoid sounding selfish
^_^ Find the right time to advise them
^_^ Dont ever hide anything from them , because if they discovered it , trust will be kissed goodbye
^_^ Never hang up while they are talking and never sigh and repeat their names angrily
^_^ Avoid the word You , You , You did this and that .. try to paly with the words to make it sound good , e.g the situation was not that good and i didnot liked it ..
^_^ Dont talk about others , while they are talking about themselves or trying to pour out their feelings to you, you'll sound not caring ..

Enjoy and Good night :)

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Friday, 2 February 2007

You Asked me !

It really bugs so hard when you just feel expressing things to someone close to you but you dont seem finding that person , so you start filling your heart with everything you dislike because you cannot just pour out what you have in .. The problem you cannot blame or say a single word because you are afraid of provoking a row that might never end .. you can say I fear i do fear a lot that i might ignite somethinig in other words .. i dont like to blame my beloved for not taking care of me because you feel yourself kinda of stupid and i dont really like that feeling ...... a whole complete day you do feel upset and whenever you call you dont get an answer , so you just stay where you are and say i shall use my hand to write because it seems this is the only way i can feel good or i can know what's wrong with me ...... negligence is what i hate most and if you just express that indirectly , no one get it ... They keep talking and talking about others very often and just a minute what about me , am i not priority or what ...... you keep adding all the feelings you have of being a little upset besides what your beloved do that you dont like and you end up feel like pulling your hair out or breaking something ........

Then you stop for a while and tell yourself for god sake what shall i do ? then when i get so sad and feel not being able to talk to any and i am out of patiencec, you just come and ask me what's wrong with you ............. tell me what would my answer be ? Nothing !

It seems that writing becomes my shelter , i don't hide much behind the words. i do use them to dig inside my heart to find out the reason behind my sadness .. maybe my readers dont like much what i write but i do feel comfortable when i just keep writing about what i do and how people get under my skin and how that annoys me .. it's not that i dont have the courage to confront them or i am autistic .. but maybe cause i do feel tired from repeating ifs, ands and buts ...

and it just becomes so hectic ....... i really love writing about my tender loving care for all my folks and how do i care and wish to get less or equal the amount in return and how do i miss them and i wish they know how much i do .. at the end we are all human and each person expresses on his or her own way .... i am starting to find out the way that makes me be more myself and i do like it there ... It's writing !

Let's get out of the sandess zone and let me share with you some picx of today :)
Celebrity of getting the Gulf Cup was really amaaaaazing

Having the ruler of Dubai with the people in their happiness really made me see how kind and modest he is .. =)

The weather today was amaazing !

Finally i just had dinner with dad and sis in PAUL and by that i ended my day ..

Enjoy , and good night folks ...

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