Friday, 2 February 2007
You Asked me !
It really bugs so hard when you just feel expressing things to someone close to you but you dont seem finding that person , so you start filling your heart with everything you dislike because you cannot just pour out what you have in .. The problem you cannot blame or say a single word because you are afraid of provoking a row that might never end .. you can say I fear i do fear a lot that i might ignite somethinig in other words .. i dont like to blame my beloved for not taking care of me because you feel yourself kinda of stupid and i dont really like that feeling ...... a whole complete day you do feel upset and whenever you call you dont get an answer , so you just stay where you are and say i shall use my hand to write because it seems this is the only way i can feel good or i can know what's wrong with me ...... negligence is what i hate most and if you just express that indirectly , no one get it ... They keep talking and talking about others very often and just a minute what about me , am i not priority or what ...... you keep adding all the feelings you have of being a little upset besides what your beloved do that you dont like and you end up feel like pulling your hair out or breaking something ........
Then you stop for a while and tell yourself for god sake what shall i do ? then when i get so sad and feel not being able to talk to any and i am out of patiencec, you just come and ask me what's wrong with you ............. tell me what would my answer be ? Nothing !
It seems that writing becomes my shelter , i don't hide much behind the words. i do use them to dig inside my heart to find out the reason behind my sadness .. maybe my readers dont like much what i write but i do feel comfortable when i just keep writing about what i do and how people get under my skin and how that annoys me .. it's not that i dont have the courage to confront them or i am autistic .. but maybe cause i do feel tired from repeating ifs, ands and buts ...
and it just becomes so hectic ....... i really love writing about my tender loving care for all my folks and how do i care and wish to get less or equal the amount in return and how do i miss them and i wish they know how much i do .. at the end we are all human and each person expresses on his or her own way .... i am starting to find out the way that makes me be more myself and i do like it there ... It's writing !
Let's get out of the sandess zone and let me share with you some picx of today :)
Celebrity of getting the Gulf Cup was really amaaaaazing
Having the ruler of Dubai with the people in their happiness really made me see how kind and modest he is .. =)
The weather today was amaazing !
Finally i just had dinner with dad and sis in PAUL and by that i ended my day ..
Enjoy , and good night folks ...
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