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Wednesday, 30 May 2007
My depression


lately i dont seem talking much i am kinda of recitent, and this what makes me feel so tired and what hurts me more is that i set to be a good model for many , so if i just showed a little of my misery , everyone will start saying oh no this is not u , so i'll start hiding and it's painful ...

sometimes i wana scream , cry and say how miserable i am and how things in my life i dont like and i wish if i could change or improve .. today i was really not able to talk at all , i reached home after the hectic work , had my lunch and it was so little *my mom was like, is that all, is it enough* , i said yes and went to sleep for hours just to forget what i am going through , woke up and felt more miserable and i wished that i didnot sleep ......

“For me being depressed means you can spend all day in bed, and still not get a good night’s rest.”

i wish i know what's wrong with me and i wish i can get over this but i dona know .. the most touching thing today was that all my family members didnot notice that i was depressed but my little 10 years sis saw me and she couldn't finish her lunch , she was like TL sis what's wrong with u , i dont feel u normal today ...... deep down i was telling myself , oh god how children are innocent, transparent and more able to realize things maybe more than adults who should have a better observation, i really love children they are so sweet, adorable and they never say something to hurt you but coz they dont know a better way to express or behave ...... i wish adults were the same and i wish my heart was tougher than it is ..
Sorry for sounding so miserable but i am really passing through an awfual depression for 3 days , trying to ignore and smile but i dont feel happy from inside and i really can't take it .......
Have a nice day

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~ TorturedLady is a woman with principles who doesn't care what others think or how would they react .. no matter what criticism she might get , she always passes by with pride because she is different .. ~ ..


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