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Sunday, 26 August 2007
A Job !

Gd morning,
It was a normal typical day, where I started my working hours energetic and thinking to be more positive to fuel my day with a lot of achievements. Questions streamed to my mind and made me wonder if I am able to be a successful person if I just moved to another job. Then I added some prefix with ifs, ands and buts about many possibilities that I might face. Mixture of feelings that I couldn’t understand and not having an answer for them made me kind of hesitant towards carrying on my specified milestones in life. I was able to crack a smile to everyone but deep down I did felt awkward and blind to see my goals, those goals that they used to be so vivid and obvious in my mind. I felt myself falling and did not want others to start mothering me or sort out my life because I am the one who should do that. “You should be patient and stay in your current job no matter what because you never know”. Well, I don’t need to hear this because I know what I should do. Life is running so fast and if we follow this, we’ll regret in the future when we found ourselves not achieving anything. It’s easy to know what you want, but again it’s difficult to achieve it without making a decision and start working on it to get the desired outcome. I just wonder how some people define a job. Many talented people just don’t use their brain and that what makes most of their goals unfulfilled. A successful person should start putting a plan where he/she can achieve their goals. Not completely but at least. But what makes you think, why I should work in a certain place where I find myself unable to use my skills or find a reason why I should invest my time or energy. Being optimistic and motivated can lead you to your goal. But if you find yourself being more and more deteriorated, you should always make the right decision that can give you a ticket to reach your destination. At the end, I just found a solution to my problems in understanding my feelings. That was writing. If I understood half of what I do or sense, I surely wouldn’t bother wasting my time writing.

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~H. Jackson Browne





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Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Shattered !


From few days i got that feeling of being so depressed and nothing seems to change it .. it's like i am holding the tears inside and if anyone talks i'll start sheding my tears .. so i prefer isolating myself a little to avoid that .. i dont have the self-satisfaction anymore and everything seems going the way i hated it to go .. it's painful when you dont get one thing that can make you feel satisfied or happy ...... some nice stuff in my life has been changed to the worst and i can't argue or say a word because i am sure that will turn to be a conflict at the end that i wana avoid .. so i ignore and ignore and ignore ...... no one really knows how sad i feel right now and no one knows how TL is feeling from inside , i feel myself choked to death ! i wont deny the fact that my work is a big disaster to me right now and it is doubling the amount of deprssion i have , i can't stand being here because they underestimated me so much after the new change they have done as they say .. I am tired from giving my sorrounding endlessly but not finding someone who can understand exactly the pain i am going through ... I miss being the outgoing person , the happy person .... this kind of depression i didnot receive for a long time and it's shattering my soul ..
It's freaking me :'(
Sorry for sounding so sad !



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Tuesday, 14 August 2007
I was Thinking !

Gd Morning,
Today i was thinking of how tired i am from some people who lie all the time and i should pretend that i dont know .. sometimes ppl think when i ignore that means i am a complete fool but they dont really understand how i know them perfectly but i am just ignoring ........ i do believe that what goes around comes around and i can interrepret this quote that no matter how small or big the heartache you cause, you'll be receving it one day .. i am not perfect and i dont really expect others to be so but i do respect and i love to get that in return because it's key in any relationship .. it's pitty how ppl change , hurt and offend , these behaviours i can't take because it does nothing but lowering your self-esteem .... i might ask myself, am i impatient or driving myself crazy ? i guess driving myself crazy .... playing the kind and forgiving person role all the time makes me angry sometimes on myself .... we give everyone in life their own value and based on that comes the behaviour , we dont compliment with exaggeration and try to get things that belong to others ..... i just dont know how ppl define life !

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Wednesday, 1 August 2007
GoodBye !

I am travelling today , so just i'll say take care and i'll be back soon enshalla ..

P.S: Take good care of urself ...... i'll be missing u so much ..

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~ TorturedLady is a woman with principles who doesn't care what others think or how would they react .. no matter what criticism she might get , she always passes by with pride because she is different .. ~ ..


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